++ SMITH ROCKS STATE PARK!!!! wait, what's at smith rock state park? are you serious! a state park dedicated to a bunch of rocks, you've gotta be kidding me! yeah, yeah, you guessed it. its rock climbing! and lots of it. they say that outdoor sport climbing originated at smith rocks. aparantly some 'naive' guy decided he wasn't good enough (aka sucked) at traditional climbing, so he went up to the rock with a drill and some bolts and some glue and started drilling holes and gluing little bits of metal into the rock like a jackass. and like all things american, it was a jackass idea that caught on and now sport climbing a 'norm' for climbing, mainly for those of us (me included) who are #1. beginners at climbing, #2. don't know enough about climbing to actually "climb". #3. people who are lazy. #4. people who don't ever want to know. #5. i'm eating lunch right now. #6. and i'm going to smith rocks in 4 hours! #7. those who like the accessibility and ease of sport climbing. #8, don't have the balls to do it.

so smith has tons of sport climbs and heather and i (being #1,#2, and #6) are going to go climbing this week. but...i'm getting pro (protection), meaning chocks (well i have those), tri-cams, hexentrics, and a few SLCDs so that i too will be able to "really climb" (meaning do traditional climbing). i just have to buy them and work up enough #8.

for everyone else who doesn't care about climbing, the last daily lesson. numero siete (in spanish), number 7 (in english), chi (in chinese), and thats all the languages i know.

Greenwich, CT
"Hey all - After some cajoling by Mr. Blackburn, I have now cracked and will offer my top ten musings of the first two weeks in New York:
.10. The weather here is just as wet as Seattle. Allow me to describe: in 10 working days, it has precipitated, in some fashion, 8 of those days, making the Marginal Propensity to Rain (MPR) = .8. Given that the Coefficient of a Good Subway Performer at rush hour (GSP) is 3.6 .. GSP = T - .1W .. GSP = 5 - 1.4 .. GSP = 3.6 where W = weeks worked before I finally saw a Broadway show and T = the # subway I take into work, and given that I will have two opportunities per day to witness a street performer, the answer to New York is: NYC = 2GSP + (MPR/10) .. NYC = 2(T - (W/10)) + (MPR/10) .. NYC = 2(5 - (14/10)) + (8/10) .. NYC = 7.28 This is exactly why I take the 7:28 train into the city every morning.
.9. People that remind me of people at work: I sit next to a young Wilford Brimley (Quaker Oats guy), his boss sounds like David Lee, I ride the train with a woman who might as well be the mom from Home Alone (and she could be for all I know), and a Brad French look-alike at work.
.8. Trains are great, no matter how long the commute. I'm finally getting to read the Harry Potter series, and when I run out of books I can sleep.
.7. Greenwich, CT, is absolutely beautiful. I live 1/2 mile from beaches and Long Island Sound, and it is a great escape from the insane density of the city.
.6. Greenwich, CT, is wicked rich. Mel Gibson, Ron Howard, David Letterman, and a host of other hotshots have houses here, the Honda Civic equivalent here is a BMW, and there are dealerships for Bentley, Rolls Royce, and Porsche.
.5. Connecticut has no straight roads at all. Grid is a foreign word, and roads change names more than they do around Clifton.
.4. There is a place to get bubble tea in Times Square. If you do not know what bubble tea is, that is to your detriment. It is the Asian trendy beverage answer to Starbucks.
.3. Travel in New York determines any and every activity. My commute every day is about 3 1/2 hours, which really sucks.
.2. I'm the only one on the train in the morning not reading the Wall Street Journal. It must be a dead giveaway that I don't have a million dollar portfolio.
.1. Don't ever bump into someone on the subway, they will offer no forgiveness. My FIRST DAY in the city I witnessed one of these incidents where a woman bumped into a guy reading a book, he got mad because she didn't say excuse me, then for an entire subway stop they went back in forth in their New York accents dropping f-bombs like they were fighting in Iraq. Very funny and strangely satisfying, I think because all my stereotypes and preconceived notions were being proven within an hour of my being in the city.
I hope you're all doing well, that you're getting a quasi-legitimate sense of responsibility at work/school, and that you take advantage of as many company kickbacks as possible."

++ CLEVELAND ROCKS, CLEVELAND ROCKS!!! the 6th of the 7 part series:

Cleveland, OH
"Somehow i missed all the emails except for B-squared's :-( ... such is life.. anyways... i have a top ten list as well...
Top ten things things i have learned during my first week of work:
.10. even though i have worked here before i am still, in fact, a coop.
.9. but i am the executive coop which means i can direct all crap work to the other coop - a second year who i don't think i've ever met before except once at bowling - which may or may not be a fuzzy alcohol induced memory.
.8. Tuesday is the worst, longest, day ever without a frozen yummy carrot at the end of it. damn all of you with a don pablo's in your area!!!
.7. Telling people your thesis is not the best idea in the world - there are meetings on the lakefront redevelopment plans with leaders from communities in cleveland at 8 in the evening every fricking week and i get to go to all of them.
.6. living with the rents is good 'cause everything is free but bad because they have lots of opportunity to drop hints about me living in cleveland after i graduate. i should start keeping track of how much they do this - it has to be at least twice a day.
.5. it is still possible to make fun of brian baker long distance thanks to email.
.4. joining a guy (i mean gym, how on earth can i have confused those? i must be a complete moron) is a good way to meet young people - and scary old meatheads
.3. going to happy hour with people from work can be fun, however, if they buy you beer and you will be forced to drink it - especially if you really, really, really don't like beer!
.2. gay men are the funniest creatures ever. actually i learned that from jason wright before i left but whatever.
and the number one thing i've learned after one week of coop:
.digital cable is amazing" ++

++ LESSON #5 of 7:

Washington DC
"Well, apparently the top 10 list has become the thing to do, and since I am easily convinced of anything and will clearly do anything popular to appear "cool" (is that the right word?) I shall also commit to a top 10 list...although to be fair I have to avoid those fascinating tidbits I mentioned in my first mass email...this may be difficult.
.10) Ethnically and racially diverse neighborhoods actually DO exist (just, apparently, not in the midwest).
.9) Nearly all office buildings in Washington are horrfically ugly. This must be in the zoning codes somewhere to prevent them from upsatging the monuments or something.
.8) There are parts of DC that are very beautiful, have really old houses, and havn't been overrun by a)yuppies, b)politicians, c)slumlords, or d)cockroaches.
.7) It is somehow relatively easy to work 4 buildings down from a previous employer (that has over a hundred people in the office) and still not run into any of them EVER.
.6) If i send an email to the person sitting next to me, the email must travel all the way to Portland and then back before it arrives at his/her computer.
.5) Discussing the War (or GDubya for that matter) is only a sensitive office topic if you happen to be pro-either of them (thankfully, I am neither).
.4) There is no justice in the world. I say this solely because the gawdawful Albert Speer-wannabe World War II Memorial has been allowed to be built on the National Mall.
.3) Malls without shopping confuse tourists.
.2) People voluntarily leave Portland. Yes, I know, hard to believe, but at least 4 people in my office lived in Portland and LEFT. To come to WASHINGTON, of all places. My personal theory: they were bamboozled into thinking they were going to Washington, the state. Actually, Otto (person at work) said the the quality of life in Portland is way too high and he felt guilty living there.
Which brings me to my next point...the VERY MOST IMPORTANT THING I HAVE LEARNED ON CO-OP
.1)Not all people named Otto or Fritz are large, bald, German men. Hard to believe but true." ++

++ SAN FRANCISCO - this past weekend. we left friday after work and drove the 14 hours there through the night. s-uper s-paz m-inx r-aving housed us and heather and i showed them around 'their' city for most of the weekend. it was as if we were living there and it was just any other weekend. a day of surfing (well m-inx surfing, s-paz, heather, and i not watching, but eating breakfast at dennys), a walk through the haight, the buffalo exchange, amoeba music, o-n "t-reatment"'s house (where he was sleeping, but as usual the front door was unlocked, and there were lots and lots of self-portraits of him snorting something, which i'm pretty sure were not pixie-sticks filled with sugar), crepe vine in the castro where we got to watch m-inx be super uncomfortable while eating his food, oysterbed to visit my old place of employment, twin peaks 2 to lean on the wind (aka, not get blown over), and lots of sitting around and watching movies at their place. it was foggy (of course.) and we didn't see the golden gate bridge once, or fisherman's wharf, or the piers or any other thing which even slightly resembles anything tourist. it was nice. until we had to leave monday morning and drive the 14 hours back. once a weekend=ok. twice in a weekend=poop. and of course as soon as we hit the washington border, it started raining.

the 4th of 7 lessons in the installment:

Boston, MA
"Since my first email was just info. and was also forwarded to my family I don't think it should count as my mass email contribution... so this will.
Jumping on the bandwagon of the top 10 lists... this is what I've learned in Boston/New England as of yet...
.10. Be thankful that your family doesn't live all in the same place so if you ever need to hit them up for a place to stay they might just be in the same city as you... it's saved my butt more than once!
.9. Even though I-95 says it only goes north-south it can really go east-west too. (very good to know if you don't want to go on a 20 some mile detour)
.8.Boston is the Windy City, not Chicago.
.7. Second day on the job: "If you don't smoke and drink coffee you're not in the right profession."... hmmm, I do neither.
.6. There still exists those dispensers that give you a sheet of toilet paper at a time as opposed to taking off of a roll. (if you care to see them visit our restroom on the fifth floor in 286 Congress St.)
.5. You can get a place to live that costs twice as much, but is 1/2 the size as you can in Ohio. (case in point, my place in Beacon Hill)
.4. Prior to popular belief, laboratory floorplans do not lay themselves out, they need co-ops to do it.
.3. There are actually IT guys who know less than us... scary...
.2. You're in a real city when you have a baby shower/beer party at work.
And the #1 thing I've learned:
.Jerry Larson can find you even if you haven't talked to him since 1985. (guy that sits behind me graduated in 1984 and got a call from jerry when he came through with the 2nd yrs. for their turkey tour... hadn't heard from jerry for 18yrs.)... be afraid, be very afraid." ++

++ I'M GOING TO SAN FRANCISCO! i'm going to san francisco, in 6 hours! woohoo! but i have to drive all night to get there tomorrow. boo. but i'll be there for 2 days! woohoo! but then i have to drive the 13.5 hours back. boo. but heather may get a computer in oregon on our way back! woohoo! but i won't, because i don't have my insurance money yet. boo. but i will soon! woohoo!

i broke the streak. i didn't even leave the house until 7.30am today. go me.

lesson 3 of 7:

Atlanta, GA
"It's been 4 months since I left the bubble of college, but in my heart I'm still there. I really do enjoy the real world so far, nothing too shocking has come up. The worst is that don't have that timeline in your head. The one that says this is the beginning and this will be the end, and then something new starts. The real world time line goes on forever. and if you have seen "The Sandlot" I mean to say "forever" in that tone, FOR-EV-ER.
what I have learned in the real world
.10. There is no one to pay your bills except you. If you don't pay them something bad happens.
.9. you think you are getting a college education so that you don't end up as the receptionist. It's all lies.
.8. After 10 weeks you still have to go to work.
.7. you are still paid poorly even though you have more expenses.
.6. everyone around you is either getting married or pregnant.
.5. Atlantans are still bitter the Yankees burned their city and won the war.
.4. the zoom game works just a well in the real world as it does on co-op.
.3. office chit chat centers around the important current events, like the Bachelor and American Idol.
.2. going a few days without a shower is frowned upon.
.1. surfing the Internet can ALWAYS be billed to a client, you're doing research." ++