MY BROTHER IS THE BEST.

++ Oh. that reminds me. i went out to eat with my family and my grandparents for father's day. we go out to eat a lot. anyway, i always sit in the back with my brother. in the minivan. and my dad and grandfather always sit up front and my mom and grandmother in the middle. anyway. so on the ride back i was telling my brother about how i'm feeling kind of lost and about what i've been doing and the people i've been talking to and hanging out with lately. and he said maybe the smartest thing and the most encouraging thing and the most .. um, the most meaningful, no thats not the right word, he said something which meant a lot to me and made me feel really good. he goes .. don't worry about the future. (and for the record when you meet my brother, he's not the smartest book smart person in the world. and he always has that i'm stoned kind of look and talk about him but he's actually really streetsmart and savvy). you need to just live in the moment right now. take care of yourself first and do the things which make you happy. spend time with people that make you feel good. and just live like there's no tomorrow. then he asked me if i had nothing to think about or worry about, where would i want to go? and i said probably either seattle or denver. and he said, because if you go out to denver, i'm going to be right there next to you in a year or so. and i think thats what really made me feel special. it was like some kind of unspoken brotherly bond thing. i think those words coming from my brother meant more than when anyone else said it to me. even my parents and my close friends. and after that i had one of the best days i've had in a really long time.
thanks jeff. ++