Tuesday, December 28, 2004


++ OFF TO SAN FRANCISCO for a little vacation!
back on the 3 january 2005.. ++

Monday, December 27, 2004


++ I AM A cock-heavy sexy bitch who loves to infest crotches.
what are you again?++

Saturday, December 25, 2004



Thursday, December 23, 2004


++ IT SEEMS AS THOUGH urban living has its downfalls. even though we have 16-20 inches of snow here and going to work today is optional, meaning if you think you cannot reach work safely, then you are not expected to come. if it is possible for you to reach work safely in a timely manner, then you should do so. i live a 15 minute walk to work. there is no possible way i can justify not being able to make it to work. therefore i go. 16-20 inches! we haven't had that much snow cumulative since i was born. ok, maybe. but thats pushing it. guh. gotta shower. then spend the next hour digging my car out of this dumping. now if only we had just one mountain.. ++

Wednesday, December 22, 2004


++ I WENT TO the mall just the other day and it took me longer to find a parking spot than it actually took me to roam the mall. granted to be fair, i already knew where i was going in the mall and i already knew what i was there to see and look at and get, however the mall is a big place and those three places i wanted to go were all on opposite sides of the mall. i hate, no i take that back, i don't hate holiday shopping. its fun. honestly it is. it just takes a whole lot of time and patience to get through it all without wanting to kill someone behind the wheel of another vehicle. i'm pretty sure they let all new drivers take the road at this time and send them off to the mall. no, in fact i'm pretty sure they tell them to seek out all green honda civics and drive in front of them, behind them, and at them one right after the other just for shits and giggles.
want to know how to find a parking spot at the mall..

Tuesday, December 21, 2004


walking through the city in the daytime when the sun is out and you can see a blue sky on the first real snowfall of the winter, the snowflakes stick to your jacket, the wind blows them in every direction and you slyly open your mouth and stick your tongue out to catch any of them hoping that no one notices the guy in the all black business attire stealing this childish delight. ++

Monday, December 20, 2004


++ WHO THINKS CHRISTMAS is full of crap?
this guy does. ++

Sunday, December 19, 2004


someone explained how to build a snowman.
about freakin' time. ++

Saturday, December 18, 2004


++ I JUST FOUND some lights in my apartment that i never even knew i had!
you must have no idea how incredibly enthralled i am to have found these! i've been living in this apartment for about a month and a half and looked up at the ceiling in my kitchen multiple multiple times. i've flipped the light switch to turn on the garbage disposer multiple times and even looked at the other switch next to it. never has it occurred to me to even flip the other switch or wonder what it goes to. today i looked up at the ceiling noticed a row of track lighting and it completely made me ecstatic to find them!
what a great day! ++

Friday, December 17, 2004


++ LAST NIGHT MY DAD and i sat down and watched A Charlie Brown Christmas Special. neither of us said anything. we just sat there and watched cartoons. just like when i was younger. it was great. ++

Thursday, December 16, 2004



University of Cincinnati's Master of Architecture's Program ranked 6th. There is some pretty hefty schools in front of us though. If anyone leaves UC to go somewhere else, its always to Harvard's Graduate School of Design, Yale, MIT or Columbia. I'm not exactly sure how or where Penn falls in there. I mean I've heard a little bit about it, but I've never heard of anyone wanting to go to Penn. Not that they aren't a good school. I'm sure they are. But it just never seems to be on anyone's wish list of Graduate Architecture Schools.

Go Bearcats. ++

Wednesday, December 15, 2004


Things I must remember (in order to keep my present living arrangements):

The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the
coffee table.
I will not roll my toys behind the fridge, behind the sofa or under the bed.
I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house.
I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the
house when I am about to get sick.
I will not throw up in the car.
I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like
the way they smell.
I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box; although they are
tasty, they are not food.
I will not eat any more Kleenex or napkins and then redeposit them in the
back yard after processing.
I will not chew my humans' toothbrushes and not tell them.
I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people
will think I am hemorrhaging.
When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when
it's raining outside.
We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on television.
I will not steal my Mom's underwear and dance all over the backyard with them.
The sofa is not a face towel; neither are Mom and Dad's laps.
My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's
license and registration.
I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
I will not roll around in the dirt right after getting a bath.
Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an acceptable way of saying
I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when
company is over.
The cat is not a squeaky toy; so when I play with him and he makes that
noise, it's usually not a good thing. ++

Friday, December 10, 2004



"Dear God,

Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one
another? Where are their priorities?

When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story?

Why are cars named for the eagle, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the
stingray, the rabbit, etc., but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you
see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! Would it be so hard
to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?

If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he
still a bad dog?

If we come back as humans, is that good or bad?

More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in?

Are there dogs on other planets or are we alone? I have been howling at
the moon and stars for a long time, but all I ever hear back is the
Schnauzer across the street.

Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles,
horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs, electromagnetic energy fields and
Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

May I have my testicles back?

The Dog"

Wednesday, December 01, 2004


++ "TIME IS GOD'S way of keeping things from happenning all at once." ++

Thursday, November 25, 2004



Friday, October 22, 2004



who am i missing?

Thursday, October 21, 2004

Saturday, October 09, 2004


the newest of the newlyweds! may your lives together be long and sweet! ++

Thursday, October 07, 2004



“you know what bothers me the most is the people typing. i don’t know if it’s the sound of the tapping keys or if its just that i know they are typing faster than me.”

“if engineers do engineering, then what do architects do?”

“christmas I think will happen this year.”

“hey the meter maid is ticketing your car.”
(sitting in front of the computer yelling at the meter maid outside.)
“go get life you witch. go watch poker on television. bite me.”
“did you put money in the meter?”
“no, there wasn’t any meter.”
..30 minutes later..
“they’re gonna tow your car. do you want me to move it for you?”
“no, the liscence is expired.”
“yeah, its ok though. it’s my sister’s anyway.”
“so are you going to be needing a ride home?”
..15 minutes later as the tow truck arrives..
“oh, i need to get software out of the trunk.”
(talks to the meter maid. gets software. comes back inside.)
“so what’s the verdict?”
(sitting down)
“oh, i have five minutes to move it.”
(thinks for a second.)
“oh, maybe i should go move it.”

“forget turner. he’s a republican. he doesn’t count anyway.”

“days off for christmas and new year’s will be 12/24, 12/27, and 12/31.”

“20,000 on a website. i’m going to make it work.”

“i think rick and norm are going to get together and have an epiphany.”
“and maybe a budweiser.”

Wednesday, October 06, 2004


++ I'VE BEEN SPOTTED again, this time gracing the pages of (gasp) geeklogs computer news i'm not sure whether i should be embarrassed about that or flattered. ha.

Monday, October 04, 2004


++ GOD HAS ALL the power in the world (that is if you believe in god) and yet he didn't make eve eat the apple. he let her choose to eat the apple.
and yet we as the american people (or even we as a society) (or even we as a worldly population) feel we have the power to decide other people's fate. we feel it is up to us to tell people what is right for them. we believe it is our right and we believe we are doing 'them' (whoever it happens to be) a favor to tell them their way of living is wrong and the choices they make are wrong.
how arrogant are we?

Tuesday, September 14, 2004


++ THANK YOU TO the person who visited Cartwheels Down the Red Carpet and then came to my site. you have given me the pleasure of another website, Sarah Bright Eyes.
oh, so many links, which one should you click. you should for thank you sake visit their website, even if its just for a second. it may or may not be your cup of tea, but thats not the point. its a thank you from you for me to them for linking their website.
and now, the whole reason why i even cited their websites.
this one's for you Kermit The Frog and your ever so frogged up songs. The Rainbow Connection. ++

Monday, September 13, 2004


++ From a weekend of celebrating a friend's diminishing bachelorhood..
listening to a friend talk to his girlfriend over the phone while in the car
"i spent $200 last night .. .. i know, but you aren't 7 guys .. .. i love you."

a friend referring to the name of a girl at the nudie bar
"you know what's in new york? brooklyn."

getting ready for 3 hours of paintball. referring to the male 'unit'
"i'm not wearing my unit socks. baker says when you play paintball, you have to wear unit socks. i know where i'm aiming."

two friends talking about women
"i go by time zone. i'm a faithful man."
"oh, really? i go by area code."

following tom to paintball. tom suddenly pulls off the road. we follow
"pull up next to him! pull up next to him! oh! oh! wait! he's puking! back away! back away! oh that's disgusting! i can see it from here! keep backing away!"
"hey matt, it's only the first night."


Friday, September 10, 2004


++ For a weekend of celebrating a friend's diminishing bachelorhood..++

Thursday, September 09, 2004


++ From a week of helping a girl get settled in..
if you love her, let her go.
if she comes back, keep her and love her forever.

Friday, September 03, 2004


++ For a week to help a girl get settled in.. ++

Thursday, September 02, 2004


"lets not worry about that. there are all kinds of clever ways to beat the (ohio building)code."

"where did you learn to spell 'pizza'? pisa. pizzia."
"you're not italian"
"you better watch it. my wife is italian."
"they still don't spell it like that. even in italy."

"the church sent the drawing back with the revised window order and apparantly the online version of genesis is wrong."

"we've produced what we believe is a design which you will be pleased with. and now i'll quickly turn this over to jay. he'll walk you through his design."
"um. good morning.."

"i'm no justin timberlake."
"you're no britney spears either."

"what's the date?"
"hey! you know in 2010, that will be 90210!"

"genesis is still ok?"
"no. genesis is still screwed up. but we're going to proceed on nothing but faith. faith alone." ++

Wednesday, September 01, 2004


I've been linked to another website though. thats kind of exciting.
Latest Bestman Speech Discussions.
Go me.

Tuesday, August 31, 2004


++ FROM Great Romances of the Twentieth Century. by Taking Back Sunday.
A beautiful girl can make you dizzy,
Like you've been drinking Jack & Coke all morning.

She can make you feel high,
Full of the single greatest commodity known to man.
Promise, the promise of a better day,
The promise of a greater hope
The promise of a new tomorrow...

This particular aura can be found in the gait of a beautiful girl;
In her smile, and in her soul,
And in the way she makes every rotten little thing about life,
Seem like its going to be okay.. ++

Monday, August 30, 2004


++ from a long last send off weekend at augusta internationl.
welcome back kathrin!
bye bye, i'll see you in berlin, kathrin!
helllllllooooo party wagon. no i mean mini-van.
arlins. so you have beer? on tap? in pitchers? yeah, we'll take 9 of them.
oh. really? you sure you have the right person? didn't see that coming.
the band's name is chocolate horse? something about a bastard?
half the battle is getting steve and beth down to cinci.
one hour game delay? thats another hour at rock bottom.
and the reds lost. again. as usual. of course. jerks.
ah outdoor soccer. you never fail me.
ducks and fishing (well not me) at burnett lake.
thank you nancy for the grill-out food. it was mighty yummy.
of the entire olympics, all i saw was the closing ceremonies.
bye lisa! good luck in SF! you will be missed! keep in touch..
oh, i have to unload and unpack all of this out of the minivan? crap.
oh its late.
goodnight! ++

Thursday, August 26, 2004


++ for a long long last send off weekend at augusta international. ++

Sunday, August 22, 2004


++ from a weekend of fun and sun with lisa!
22 hours in a car with me and you still talk to me. .. kinda ..
you learned to drive a manual car first time. and the car still works.
it was an absolutely fabulous road trip!
beaches at 5.30am AND 2.30am are full of unexpected things.
besides the roaches outside the hotel room, best cheapest room ever.
accordian player and three shades of pink at an italian restaurant.
silver platter spaghetti and old men and bibs.
pavilion pier.
the swings.
chocolate chip pancakes.
ihop two days in a row.
afternoon naps.
the boardwalk.
i can't believe you beat me in putt-putt. and i even golf.
my head is definately bigger than yours in that photo.
who knew ice cream could melt so fast.
merry-go-rounds still make me smile.
mother fletchers band sounded good after 10 beers. (no actually they were good.)
mcadoo's country band that plays michael jackson covers.
thorny's hodge podge dining complete with televisions and strawberry daiquiris.
comfortable beach chairs to watch the waves pound jay like a cake.
sun. lots and lots of sun. (and no rain the whole time!)
fun mirrors.
ah, the wonderful wonderful beach.
your good company and conversation. ++

Thursday, August 19, 2004


++ for a weekend of fun and sun! ++

Sunday, August 15, 2004


++ ..from a weekend of camping and rafting with the family! ++
dad thought it would be more fun to take a little drink in the water. the rest of us were wet enough in the raft. the sequence goes left to right. top to bottom. dad is in the back left. about halfway through you don't see him anymore. and you see mom look to her left to see where dad went. then i look to see where he decided to go. no one else even noticed.

Friday, August 13, 2004


++ ..for a weekend of camping and rafting with the family! ++

Thursday, August 12, 2004


"time is like a toilet paper roll. the closer you get to the end, the faster it goes.
but...the faster things go, the more wind you get in your hair, so just enjoy the breeze." ++

Tuesday, August 10, 2004


you will be missed.. :)++

Thursday, August 05, 2004


++ I FORGOT HOW much i enjoy reading 'the best of craigslist'. craigslist was started by a guy named craig who lives in san francisco. craig lived down the street from where i used to live in cole valley in sf. otis, the guy i subleted a room from, was friends with craig. i never met craig, so i can't prove this. i became familiar with cragslist through someone who told me to go look for it to find a place to stay. i guess recently its expanded quite enormously to other parts of the country. although i hear the responses and diversity aroudn the bay area is still the best, while basically it sucks in every other city.
anyway. read any of these. they are absolutely hilarious. each one of them made me laugh. maybe not the entire post, but at least one line made me crack up hilariously for a good minute.
'best of craigslist' ++

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

# 16 ..

++ 16. My parents never let me buy fireworks while i was growing up.
i'm not sure if they just didn't trust us with flammable shooting gunpowder. no wait, i'm pretty sure thats what it was. man, if they only knew the flammable things we flamed while growing up. no wait, they probably did. parents just always seem to know that stuff. even if they weren't there and they have no proof, they just know. so yeah, our parents never let us but fireworks while we were growing up, luckily however most of the other kids parents let them buy fireworks or rather they would buy fireworks for their kids and everyone in the neighborhood got to mooch off them and watch. and we're not talking smokebombs or bottle rockets or blackcats. it was more well actually i don't even know what any of them were called. oh, roman candles. but those might as well be a bottle rocket you hold in your hand and point at someone and pretend you are harry potter. hm, yeah i don't know what any of the fireworks were called. i suppose i could just throw out any name and most likely its a firework.
i remember mr. insani (in-san-ee) bought a whole bunch of fireworks one time and he had them all in a paper bag. there was probably $50 worth and he was lighting them all off one at a time. well he lit one or two and they went off and we all said, 'yay'. then he lit one and the bottle fell over and it shot at all of us sitting on side yard which was funny to see 8 little 10 year olds scrambling for their lives, trying to dodge this whatever it was coming at us full speed. it was like the running of the bulls, except that none of us were wearing white with red scarves and we weren't in pampalona and we weren't going down narrow streets and they weren't bulls. but it was pretty close. so all the little kids run and dive and dive and run and the firework misses all of us, but it jumps right into the bag of unlit fireworks. all the fireworks lite and ka-whamo, instant fireworks show. i've never seen so many go off at one time before, well except for when i go to real fireworks shows. when they shoot off real fireworks.
blaine. he lived up the corner from us when we were growing up. he was a big guy. late 20's. early 30's. (which was old at the time. but crap. i'm almost late 20's now.) he gave a us a real big firework once. he hucked it into the ground so it would stand up. it wouldn't fit in the mouth of the bottle we had. we lit it. it didn't budge. we thought it was a dud. long delay turns out. boom! its hard to duck or hit the ground very fast when you are two steps away from a big explosion shooting off green and blue gunpowder at you. but you'd be surprised at how fast you react when green and blue sparks of gunpowder are flying at you. ++

Monday, August 02, 2004


++ ..comes from some other beginning's end. ++

Wednesday, July 28, 2004

# 15 ..

++ 15. I have a bachelor's degree in architecture and a master degree in architecture from the university of cincinnati.
blah blah. you know this already. or you don't care. if you do. ask a question. i'll see what i can come up with.
are you an architect?
no. not yet.

will you make a lot of money?
no. never.

are you famous?
only in the eyes of my grandmother.

will you be famous?
according to jon's dad i will. he threatened to kick my ass if i wasn't.

why won't you make a lot of money?
we just like to dress all shiny. its really a facade. we're dirt poor. we just like to fool you into thinking we have a lot of money.

do you have to be smart to be an architect?
yes. smart like a brick. 'what does the brick want to be?' it wants to be a building. a big red building. with dogs that pee on it. and openings so you can walk into it just so you can turn around to see out of it.
no. you don't have to be smart to be an architect. you do have to be able to think things out though. like, if there were way to many people on a floor and you could feel the floor start to deflect in the center, what would i do? would you run toward a wall so if the floor caved in you would be alright? noooo. you would leave the building and go outside. thats why i'm an almost architect. because i'm smart.

is architecture easy to get into at the university of cincinnati?
for undergrad. yes if you have a minimum SAT total score of 1320 or an ACT composite 30 and you had a 3.5gpa or you were a valedictorian.
for graduate. yes if you have a 3.2 cumulative gpa for your undergrad and you have a portfolio and you have an undergrad in some related field and a minimum GRE score of 1790.
yes. its a piece of cake.

was architecture school hard at the university of cincinnati?
nope. if you don't mind staying up til incredibly late and odd hours of the morning everynight for 6 years straight. (including weekends.) and pulling allnighters for a week straight to finish your projects at the end of the quarter for studio. oh yeah, did i mention thats just for a 5-credit hour studio. you are still required to take 4 other lecture classes every quarter as well. (honestly, it wasn't hard. just long and laborious.)

are you glad you're graduated?
kind of. the first year i was a sponge. taking everything in. years 2-5 i knew what i had to do to slip by. to do as little as possible and get away with it. year 6 i actually learned how to be a student. i studied the things i wanted to study and i loved it. i made my own schedule. i made my own deadlines. i made my own goals and produced what i knew i needed to produce in order to show the things i needed to show to get my point across. it was a fun process. i'd do it again. (i'd still complain and whine, but i'd do it again.) ++

Monday, July 26, 2004


i went up to toledo on thursday evening to help out and make sure everything which got overlooked was taken care of. the wedding was on saturday. so friday was spent for the most part getting all the last minute stuff taken care of before the rehearsal. it consisted mostly of driving jon around in his father's rented out pt cruiser while jon co-ordinated everything via his mobile phone. he would be on the phone talking to kiera's mom or his mom and by the time he finished with the call, he would have two messages on his phone. he'd start to call one of the people back and by the time he had finished that phone call, he would have two more messages. never failed. and then to make things more stressful he would get a phone call from a stressed out and crying kiera. for all the things that could have gone wrong, everything was a breeze. rehearsal went smoothly. lots of clowning around and laughing (and crying) and 4 or 5 run-throughs and we all by the end could fake it enough to make everything look like we knew what we were doing. rehearsal dinner afterwards went well. good food. good good food. more laughing. (and more crying). thank yous. presents. and then back to jon's apartment (which was 30 minutes away) where as soon as we were dropped off, jon realized he didn't have his house keys. so we drove all the way back to the wyndham hotel to get his keys and then all the way back to his apartment. only midnight, but it felt like 4 in the morning. little zzzz's. saturday. wedding day. wedding starts in 6 hours. jon's up. not nervous. not fidgety. just another morning. goes for a run. i take a shower. wedding starts at 2. we need to be at the church by noon. jon decided he wanted to get a present for kiera to give to her before the wedding. panera bagel. mall. present. little ceaser's to pick up food for the rest of the groomsmen. church. groomsmen. wait. television. kiera's ring is delivered to me. getting ready. 20 minutes til game time. last minute photos. my button pops off. so does someone elses'. buttons fixed. we're walking. we're walking. music. lights. camera. action. people. all in row. one step forward to rake the place of the guy in front of you. my partner is coming down the aisle. she's at the 6th row. walk. say hello. present my arm. step over the aisle runner. focus point is the black piece of tape. one step. stop. one step. stop. one step. stop. one step. stop. one step. stop. one step. 'you're welcome. see you in a few.' go to the right. stand in line. here comes jon and pastor banks. pull out camera. take a few photos. jon. bridesmaids. wow, they look stunning. music. spotlight. kiera. walking down from the balcony. more photos. they're walking. they're walking. they're still walking. slow. they're stopped at the end of the aisle. why? someone is giving kiera her boquet. they're walking. photos of jon. he's crying. pastor banks just whacked his arm. oh. no he's giving him a hankerchief. ha. music stops. jon and kiera are walking up the steps behind pastor banks. they stop. i can see jon and kiera's face. they're glowing. absolutely beautiful. prayers. vows. candles. kisses. 'i do.' 'i do.' kisses. smiles. walking away. smiles. tears. hugs. oh my turn. we're walking. greeting. oh hi mom and dad and jeff and sara and cindy. 'yeah, i'll see you at the reception.' limo. photos. more photos. more photos. limo. champaigne. probably shouldn't drink too much. i still have to do some speech. more photos. toledo art museum. more photos. wyndham hotel. more photos. 'thanks for dropping my car off for me.' 'ok, i'll see you inside.' oh thank goodness, they brought out food for the bridal party. 'ok people, please line-up with your partner.' 'and the matron of honor, natasha bayes, and the bestman, jay blackburn.' do a little dance. oh right, walking. sitting. listen to toast. eat salad. another toast. tylenol for headache. eat dinner. another toast. cut cake. another toast. eat cake. bride's dance. another toast. groom's dance. another toast. jon and kiera's dance. oh right, my turn to toast. read from paper. don't want to mess this up. read. clapping. bridal party dance. whew. beautiful. go sit. (beacuse i'm not a dancing fiend.) good byes. congratulations. absolutely beautiful wonderful wedding. Congratulations Jon and Kiera. much love. ++

Wednesday, July 21, 2004


cincinnati fun at its finest.
http://www.christianmoerlein.com/site.php ++

Tuesday, July 20, 2004


++ QUIPS RECENTLY HEARD at weekly office meetings.
"leukemia is spelled with a 'U' and lymphoma is spelled with a 'Y'."
"eh, they're sick. they won't care. how its spelled."
"there was a chick at the bar. excuse me, but thats what it was."
"she's yellow, has feathers, you know, she's cute."
"yeah, she was a bar chick."
"i must be a control freeak, because i start to lose control when i can't control the things i want to control."
"two words: hooters sluts."
"can you repeat all of that back for me?"
"no, i wasn't listening to you."
"i'm sorry, but what do you think strippers do for work? thats right, they take their clothes off. thats why they're called strippers."
"..no, hookers are different than strippers." ++

Monday, July 19, 2004


++ ALL CHICAGO, ALL the time.
01. sleeping at any possible time it was possible to sleep.
02. spending an hour trying to get from millenium park to the shedd aquarium and then deciding it wasn't worth the money for the amount of time we would be there, so we turned around and left.
03. getting up at 7.30am to drive to chicago from toledo.
04. getting up at 4.45am to drive back to toledo from chicago the next day.
05. eating dinner with no silverware at medival times.
06. falling asleep after dinner at medival times .
07. train ride into the city. (when is it ever not fun to ride a train into a city??)
08. live music at a bar.
09. a hot breakfast prepared for you at 4.45am.
10. a packed lunch prepared for you to take back on your drive.
11. only having to fill up three times for a trip from dayton to toledo to chicago and all the way back.
12. 'the dungeon' museum of medival torture devices.
13. walking into the bathroom and seeing three grown men all standing at urinals wearing a knock-off burger king crown on their heads with the third guy having to crouch down because he was too tall for the little kid urinal.
14. millenium park. cloud gate. gehry pavilion and bridge. crown fountain. lurie garden.
15. spending quality time with a good friend. ++

Friday, July 16, 2004


++ ..for the weekend. it's jon oliver's bachelor party! ++

Wednesday, July 14, 2004


++If i destroy everything, does that mean i don't have deal with any of it?++

Tuesday, July 13, 2004


++ From a friend of a friend's away message:
"Eventually, all the pieces fall into place...until then, laugh at the confusion, live for the moment, and know that everything happens for a reason."
no better advice or statement could be made at the moment. there is some unforseen plan (from my eyes) and i'm ok with that. i know i can't control everything and i'm ok with that.
my mom has a way with being chinese. it seems like more and more whenever her and i have talks, she always manages to throw in an ancient chinese proverb. naturally she doesn't tell it to me in chinese (like it probably should be or would be the most true) because well then i wouldn't be able to understand it. she translates it into english (which sometimes it loses its full meaning, but the general gist of it comes through.) the most recent proverbs she has told me in the past 6 months are these:
there are two men in a village. both of them have had ailments which have bothered them for the longest time. they both have the exact same medical condition, a cut on their thumb which no matter what they do, always opens up overnight and bleeds. the first guy goes to his doctor and says, "doctor, i have a cut on my thumb and no matter what i do, it will never heal. i've tried everything." the doctor says, "don't worry, i will supply you with a life-time worth of bandages and if you come to my office i will treat your wound and bandage your thumb everyday until you die and your problem will be solved." the guy says, "thanks, doctor." and he does this for the rest of his life. the second guy at the same time goes to his doctor and says, "doctor, i have a cut on my thumb and no matter what i do, it will never heal. i've tried everything." the doctor says, "don't worry, i will cut your thumb off right now. it will hurt while i'm doing this, but it will heal properly, you will never have to worry about your cut again and you will never have to come back to my office." the guy says, "ok doctor. do it." the doctor severes the guys thumb and he is in pain for the next couple of months, but as foretold his cut heals properly and he never has to revisit the doctor for his ailment.

the moral of the proverb is sometimes it is better for quick sharp pain which will heal than to have a cut which will bleed for the rest of your life.
the second proverb: there are two men in a village. one of them lives one the west side of town next to a well and the local spring, however his home faces the wall which surrounds the village to keep out intruders and attackers. the other man lives on the east side of town where the grass is always green, he has servants to do all of his hosuework and prepare him meals. his house sits on the top of a hill overlooking the rest of the village. he is well-stocked and lives very well, however he is so far secluded from the rest of the village that others must yell and chime bells when they want to approach his domain. both men are happy with where they live until a fire breaks out in the city center and quickly spreads in all directions burning everything in its path. the fire reaches both homes at the same time and both men scramble to save their possessions. the first man walks three steps out of his front door and dips his bucket into the well and local spring and douses the flames which are burning his house. the second man runs through the gate surrounding his house and down the hill through the town center and over the spring. he fills up a bucket and runs back through the town center up the hill, through the gate and manages to throw half a bucket on the fire which is starting to engulf his home. his home burns to the ground.

the moral of the proverb is sometimes it is better to live humbly and closer to the water than it is to live well and on the far side of town, for when fire breaks you will be closest to water and the first to put down the flames.
i understand these on a very basic philosophical sense, but i'm unsure i am able to read very far into their meanings at this point in my life. it seems like sometimes we are so close to the fire and i spend so much time putting out the fire, that i don't even know what is on fire. there is some larger plan in which everything i do falls into and i haven't the smallest clue to what that is. in the whole realm of things, today is but a small bump in the sidewalk which borders an alley which feeds into a street which runs to the boulevard emptying into the highway going across the country to a destination i can't see, beacuse it is so high up in the clouds, that once i finally drive into my gas tank has run empty and i can no longer continue the journey to the final destination, nor do i know what the final destination is, nor can i see ahead of me. the only clear path of vision is behind me, back down through the hole in the clouds down the highway, through the boulevard, down the street into the alley next to the sidewalk where the bump in which i now stand in is completely and utterly clear why it is. i will never reach my final destination and i will never see past the clouds, but thats ok, because i trust and i know my cloud and my mountain is but a bump on this earth, which is but a planet in the galaxy, which is but one galaxy in the vastness of space.
and i'm ok with that. ++

Thursday, July 08, 2004

# 14 ..

++ 14. I also don't wear deodorant.
ok, well i do sometimes. usually only when i'm getting all dolled up though. (which isn't often or often enough i guess. although i could now, now that i have more time and actually have some money. its a bittersweet thing..) actually i have only bought two sticks of deodorant ever. and thats only because i lost the first one. actually now that i think of it i use it when i play sports sometimes. but not every time. what a boring post. really though, can you actually have a good story about deodorant? ++

Wednesday, July 07, 2004

# 13 ..

++ 13. I go commando.
thats right. balls to the wall. airing it out. no underwear. no briefs. no boxers (well only sometimes). hey, what can i say. its cooler that way. as in less hot. thats one less piece of clothing i have to wash. its not that big of a deal really. its been 9 years and i haven't looked back. ok, actually i just bought my first pack of boxers for the first time in 9 years a couple of weeks ago. it was odd.
is it really that much less hot? debatable. i think it is. when do i wear boxers? who cares? sometimes when i play sports and i feel like it. sometimes when i go to work and the boxers i have are clean. don't i have to worry about 'clipping' anything? well, yeah. you just have to be careful though. you take an extra second zipping up .. just to make sure. although by now i'm so used to it, i don't really think about it. the other option is to just get button up flys. takes a little longer to button up or button down, but its well worth not having to worry about pinching. do i have to worry about my ass crack dirtying up the backside of my pants? you just wipe good. (you should wipe good anyway.) how do i deel with the leakies? shake it like a polaroid picture. ..twice for safe keeping. you put clothes on as soon as you get out of the pool. you make sure you're dry before you put clothes on. pretty simple and uneventful actually. you wear them. i don't. simple. ++

Saturday, July 03, 2004

# 12 ..

++ 12. I have lived here in the united states ever since then.
i think out of all the places i've lived in i enjoyed denver the most. i'm not quite sure why. maybe it was because it was the first time i had really really gone off and lived without any kind of guidance. when i left home to go to college, there is still that RA sort of thing on the floor and quality control for getting into the dorms. but when i went to denver, it was just me and brian and adam and drew and no one to tell us what to do or who to see or not to do or not to see. or maybe because it was my first time really being out west for any extended period of time. and in the mountains of all places! or maybe it was i really connected with denver. (doesn't everybody connect with colorado somehow though?) it could have been the hiking and camping in the mountains in the summer and then going back to the exact same places in the winter and snowboarding down them. or it could have been that it was the first time i had ever climbed outside. or the first time i had ever been on a multi-pitch route. or the first time i had ever been on a snowboard. doesn't matter. it was fun. i'd go back any day.
san francisco had its moments. of course the two times i lived there i lived in two completely different places. cole valley the first time (just right up the street from the haight) and in the mission (the OTR of cincinnati, except all spanish people). the first time i lived in cole valley i had to drive down through the castro (the gay district) everyday to get to work. the second time i had to drive over to the warehouse district over on the east side (over by pacbell park). i think what i enjoyed most about san francisco was the inevitable morning fog which would be replaced by sunshine in the afternoon. the distinct neighborhoods in a unified city were something you don't see everywhere, especially in suburbia ohio (which isn't necessarily a bad thing. just a different thing.) there is a completely different side of san francisco you get as a tourist than as somebody who works there or does installations and deliveries there. oh and the streets. oh the streets. you learn unless you live on those insanely steep streets that you avoid the insanely steep streets. or rather you learn alternate ways around them. not that they aren't fun to drive, because they are. but they do damage beyond what you would ever think to your clutch and to your gas mileage.
portland is a city which is deceptive. it is one of the largest cities in the pacific northwest (after seattle) and yet it feels about as big as dayton, ohio. it may be because it has so much room to spread out, that it does. or it could be that its not right on the water (which i really didn't know until i go there and looked at a map.) it actually sits about an hour inland on a river. oh oh! i get it now. port. land. its a port. its surrounded by land. portland. (holy wow i'm smart.) there is a code in portland that none of the buildings built now are allowed to block views of mount hood (which is visible from downtown even though its 2 hours east.) so i think the building height code is something like 30 floors which puts it at just around 450' or so above ground level i think. mount hood is ridulous. its a little kid's drawing of a mountain. its basically a triangle. and its soo cool. portland has free public transportation downtown and it operates on an honor system outside of downtown and oddly enough most people if not all people oblige to the honor system (except when they fall asleep drunk and accidentally take the train all the way to the end of the line 15 miles outside of downtown, but thats another post.) portland is basically a family town if you ask me. it seems that everyone is either married and has kids or at the very least married.
seattle is a place shrouded in myth and rumors to us people who are from the midweset (and by the midwest i mean our made up midwest of ohio, which isn't really in the midwest, but is for all practical purposes.) seattle is a place so far away that we (ohioians) think it rains there all the time. we think seattle never has sunshine. its always cold. and all the people are either gay or lesbians or ugly. .. most of this is true. well all except for the raining all the time thing. to forever dispell rumors about seattle (to the 10 people who read this. i'm not gonna lie. i don't pretend that a bunch of people read this or care.), seattle does not rain all the time. it is surrounded by water everywhere you go. it seems that every street you turn down, it ends at water. however in the summer when the high pressure system of california moves north, it pushes all the rain clouds north and its actually sunny (and hot .. 80+ degrees). it does however seem to mist a lot. which is different from rain. most buildings in seattle don't have a/c. why? it basically pretty much never gets warm enough to warrant the use of a/c. when it does ge that warm, people just open their windows and use that old and proven cross-ventilation cooling system. there is a definate critical regionalism thing going on in seattle. seattle's architecture carries that very techtonic feel, where structure is defined, shown, and almost celebrated. it is a very working class city with lots of ports and shipping plays a very big influence on the city's structure and skyline. and with that comes a very straightforward and honest architecture. oh and mount rainier. how could i forget about mount rainier. it is visible from seattle even though its 3 hours southeast from downtown. its absolutely huge! all those photos you see of the skyline of seattle where it looks like mount rainier is either photoshopped in or cut and pasted.. yeah those are real. its ridiculous how big the mountain is. disturbing almost.
cincinnati has grown on me over the past six years. its not that i ever disliked it. it just didn't have all the flair of the other cities. or maybe it was because its too close to home. but now it has turned into my home and really like it here. its not as big as columbus, but it seems like it is. downtown is completely different from the east side which is completely different from the westside which is completely different from the scene around campus. downtown is still really dead (especially after the riots and since it sits right next to OTR, which is one of the poorest districts in cinci.) downtown has gottne better in recent years or at least it seems. the eastside is comprised mostly of big fat old homes perched on small hills or tucked away in groves of trees. for lack of a better stereotype it is the rich part of cinci. the westside is a step back in time as well, but not for the architecture, more for its old ways of thinking and mentality. for lack of a better stereotype, the westside is the working class of cinci. they are hardnosed. they work mostly blue-collar jobs. they have a character about them which is completely different from the eastside. and then the campus parts of cinci. well its like most other campus sections of cities, except its a little more urban, but not a true urban campus. basically i'm saying its a fake campus. ..architecturally.
and finally last but by far not the least, fairborn, my hometown. i grew up there and spent my childhood there and the endless summers where i had nothing to do there. it was great. its still great. my parents still live in fairborn. and for the record i have never lived in beavercreek, although i was only a few streets off. some of my most vivid memories are in fairborn. playing soccer, endless games of soccer and practices. going on bike rides. summer midday holy hot runs. kickball. you name it. it most likely happenned. fairborn is a town made mostly of government employees. i would venture to say that if wright patterson air force base had not been more or less in town, the city of fairborn would not be a city, but still a town or a village or a settlement or still the wild west. fairborn is actually the conjoining of the towns of fairfield and osborne with a railroad more or less splitting it right down the middle. it is the all-american suburb except that main street and downtown fairborn has gone through a relapse and because of the transient nature of wright patt, downtown is not as vivid and busy as it should be. it doesn't contain as many cute little shops as it should. it is a sity of single family small detached houses with vasts amount of neighborhoods all sporting the same house, varied slightly, but more or less the same house for rows and rows on end. it is my hometown and i am proud of it despite its shortcomings.
what can i say. ..its home. ++

Thursday, July 01, 2004

# 11 ..

++ 11. I have never been to Europe, but I was born in Taiwan, but I only lived there for 6 months, but it was the first 6 months of my life.
And so i don't remember it. i have been back to taiwan once since then to visit relatives. it was in 2002. i met relatives i haven't ever met before and it was absolutely great. downtown taipei taiwan is something similar to going to times square during rush hour in the evening when all the lights are on and everywhere, spinning around until you are aboslutely dizzy, then dropping a pin in the midst of all the foot traffic and taxi traffic, closing your eyes for 30 seconds, then trying to find the pin. absolutely insane. of course the bigger you are, the more control you have. so pedestrians have no chance. you avoid everything else. next come the scooters with the 20 and 30 something year olds on them, wearing a cloth or cotton mask over their mouths to keep out the ever-present car fumes. they zip in and out of traffic deftly and narrowly avoiding each other and being hit by 4 wheeled vehicles. sometimes with a passenger on the back. some with helmets. some without. next come the cars driven by mostly middle to older taiwanese who have made it in the financial world (well even some who haven't. but the its just like the US. BMW's. junkers. they're all there.) next come the taxi cabs. oh the taxi cabs. not as many as NYC, but a whole lot more crazy. they are probably by far the worst drivers in the country. they drive fast. they turn fast. they jerk back and forth. apparantly they have a foul mouth. they all smoke. and they all chew betel nuts. which stain your teeth red and contains nicotine in it. actually, taxicab drivers almost rule the road over larger trucks and buses. the one thing i did notice is they do not have any semi-trucks. lots of greyhound buses though. oh, you can take a bus from the top of the island to the bottom of the island in a day. actually in less than a day. taiwan is so small it can fit inside rhode island. the countryside once you get out side of the major cities are very rural. oh and temples everywhere. i didn't quite figure out the whole temple and religious thing, because to me the temples (which i guess are different from shrines) all more or less look the same. at least the buddhist and daoist temples. but in the countryside (well pretty much everywhere outside of the major cities where its banned to burn things) they burn this fake money at temples. i guess at the buddhist temples you pray to three things, the gods, your anscestors, and the heavens. (although i think i just got that wrong. anybody know?) oh yeah and confuscianism is different from buddhism. without getting into a spiritual dialogue, confuscianism is not a religion, its a way of life. buddhism and shintoism and daoism are religions. there is a lot about taiwan. i'll save it though for particulars. ++

Wednesday, June 30, 2004

# 10 ..

++ 10. I have lived in Taiwan, Fairborn, Cincinnati, Denver, San Francisco, Portland (OR), and Seattle.
I was born in Taipei, Taiwan, but I don't remember the address where I lived there. actually, i don't even remember being there. actually i don't think i even realized i was from a different country until i was 4 or 5 when some kids started making fun of me because i looked different. and even that i don't remember. it was until high school that my mom told me that some kids used to make fun of me and pick on me in pre-school and i told my grandfather (because i guess he used to pick me up from pre-school) and he told me to stand up for myself and fight back. which is kind of funny now that i think about it. apparantly i did. and the kids stopped picking on me. i guess in kindergarten and 1st grade another kid used to pick on me. would take my lunch money. (..as if thats not something straight out of a book or a story.) i guess it kept happenning until there was a field trip somewhere and all parents were invited to go. i don't remember where we were going. hell, i don't even remember having to give my lunch money to some bully. anyway, the kid tried to take my money when my parents were sitting right next to me. not a good idea, i guess. so that kid stopped taking my lunch money. but i think it traumatized me so much (maybe thats not the right word. shook me up enough? scared the hell out of me? i dunno..) that i know i didn't buy lunch again at school until i was in 6th grade and one day we didn't have anything to make a lunch with, so i had to buy lunch. ..or maybe i started packing my lunch because everyone had those cool lunchboxes with a picture of the transformers on in or battlecats or he-man and those that brought their lunches would set up their lunchboxes so no one else could see what they had brought. oh for the record my mom or dad never made me lunches when i was a little kid. its not that i didn't have a mom or dad or that they didn't love me or any of that crap. they just didn't. and i didn't care. i made my own lunches. and i had a transformers lunch box. to match my transformers underwear. but that stopped last year when i started buying my lunches again. transformers are out of style now anyway. ++

Tuesday, June 22, 2004


++ Oh. that reminds me. i went out to eat with my family and my grandparents for father's day. we go out to eat a lot. anyway, i always sit in the back with my brother. in the minivan. and my dad and grandfather always sit up front and my mom and grandmother in the middle. anyway. so on the ride back i was telling my brother about how i'm feeling kind of lost and about what i've been doing and the people i've been talking to and hanging out with lately. and he said maybe the smartest thing and the most encouraging thing and the most .. um, the most meaningful, no thats not the right word, he said something which meant a lot to me and made me feel really good. he goes .. don't worry about the future. (and for the record when you meet my brother, he's not the smartest book smart person in the world. and he always has that i'm stoned kind of look and talk about him but he's actually really streetsmart and savvy). you need to just live in the moment right now. take care of yourself first and do the things which make you happy. spend time with people that make you feel good. and just live like there's no tomorrow. then he asked me if i had nothing to think about or worry about, where would i want to go? and i said probably either seattle or denver. and he said, because if you go out to denver, i'm going to be right there next to you in a year or so. and i think thats what really made me feel special. it was like some kind of unspoken brotherly bond thing. i think those words coming from my brother meant more than when anyone else said it to me. even my parents and my close friends. and after that i had one of the best days i've had in a really long time.
thanks jeff. ++

Monday, June 21, 2004


++ Same old thing. different place. although everyone at work seems to be fun. and actually for once the gossip (or the gossiper) of the office is not the receptionist. gasp. there is one female of the office. (she's married. don't ask me to 'do you any favors.') there is a spaz. permanently hooked on caffeine and coffee, apparantly from his early childhood days. never stops talking. and he's loud. and verges on obnoxious. but he isn't. he knows when its time to get work done. there is the new guy. quiet. from miami u. dresses like it too. nice guy. there is the cad junkie. he almost looks like a cad junkie. but doesn't act like one. funnier than you would think a cad junkie would act. there is the money partner. not old. just is much more on the business side of it. there is the workoholic partner. enough said. and there is the field CA guy. older as you would expect, because they garner more respect than the 24 year old recent college graduate. and finally there is the lady who i haven't met and probably never will because she is out on maternity leave and i should be done before she is ready to come back to work.

oh which reminds me. i need to start looking for a permanent job.
where should i go?
who wants to hire me? ++

Saturday, June 12, 2004

Wednesday, June 09, 2004

# 9 ..

++ 9. I am afraid of heights, but i like rock climbing.
i can remember being afraid of anything higher than my head. actually i can remember being afraid of anything above my eyebrow. no, wait, actually i can remember being afraid of anything higher than my shoulders. no, wait. no, thats not right. i do however remember being afraid of heights. although now that i think about it, i used to sleep on the upper bunk of the bunk beads my brother and i used to have. and i used to climb trees and climb up onto the roof of the house. yeah, but those really weren't that high. yeah, it really doesn't matter. ++

Friday, June 04, 2004

# 8 ..

++ 8. I have taken out a loan from a bank.
i don't think that's telling people too much is it? oh, i'm sure it probably is. ok, the cat is out of the bag. i'm in debt. go figure. 4 years of undergrad and 2 years of graduate school. i wonder how many students actually go through college without accumulating any debt at all. actually, i would bet that most of my friends (and granted my friends all come from middle to upper middle class suburbia) have gone through most of college with little or no debt. ok, so what is 'little'? i guess under a year's worth of tuition and everything would be little..in the whole realm of things. so what, maybe $10-15 thousand? thats not a ridiculous amount of debt. now, $70-80,000. yeah thats a lot of debt. and especially for an architect. ha i almost wrote anarchist. i suppose that would be a lot of money for an anarchist as well. i suppose it also depends on whether you went to a public or a private school as well. public schools are way cheaper, but then again there are less chances to get private grants and scholarships. it would seem that most people who get into graduate school are guaranteed at least a little bit of money through assistantships (is that a word?) TA's and GA's (as oppossed to T&A, although it wouldn't surprise me that some people get through with a little bit of that as well.) although i don't know of anyone who 'works' for their money for school. i've heard rumors about some people i went to high school working at different topless bars and strip bars. but all those guys have since died. (whaahuh?) i'm kidding. i don't know any male strippers. or i'm not friends with any. i mean i don't know what one is. (huh? what just happenned?) i'm kidding. but i have heard of some girls who used to be in choir with me working at a strip joint. i've never actually been to see if it were true, but there are at least 3 different people i know from at least 3 different schools who have claimed to have seen her stripping. and apparantly the younger sister of some girl i used to like way back in junior high is also a stripper or works there as a hostess or is somehow related to the stripper industry. (and to make it even more weird a guess her brother or someone related to her has a porn website? i don't know. its all hearsay to me.) oh, and one of the guys who used to be in my studio freshman year dropped out of school second year and runs a porn website now. (no, i don't know which one it is. i never asked. and to make it more weird, it was girls and guys. i guess he's straight, but all the money is in the gay porn website industry. thats what he tells me. swear.) anyway, the kid who was in my studio, used to be hardcore christian. i guess thats not to say that he still isn't.. however that works. so yeah, i've taken out a loan from a bank.. and i don't plan on repaying it with t&a.. ++

Monday, May 24, 2004

# 7 ..

++ 7. I've fallen 85 feet off a cliff and survived with only 2nd and 3rd degree burns on my hands and stitches in my back.
yeah yeah. or maybe it was only 80 feet.
did my life flash before my eyes? no.
did i ever think i was going to die? no.
did it feel like forever when i was falling? yeah.
what did you think? only the most basic primal emotions. pain. and survival.
did you yell? no.
did you scream? no.
at all? no.
who was there? mike, nancy, heather, brent, dave, suzie. i think thats it.
how did it happen? i took a step back and fell.
wh..huh? i'll explain in a second.
when was this? about three and a half years ago. fall 2000.
did it hurt? not at first.
did you go to the hospital? didn't want to, but 'they' made me.
are you glad? actually, yeah.
so story please. ok.
we went camping at the red river gorge. on a friday we got down there and got to the top of a cliff, which is really spacious on top. it was fall and it was some weekend getaway thing. the kind where you are looking forward to it for months in advance and you're going rain or shine. no excuses. so we went on friday after studio. camped out. camp-fire. blah blah blah. the next morning brent and i got up at the crack of dawn. because thats what you do when you go cmaping. you get up early. and we decided that it was going to be the perfect time and place to go rapelling (little did we know and later did we find that its illegal to rappel off the cliffs at the red.) so we set up some top rope thing and strapped on our harnesses and started rappelling. it was one of those overhanging rappels where at the top you go over the edge and you aren't touching the rock with your feet or anything. later down the line the rock straightens out and comes back and you can actually put your feet on the rock and push away. so if you have never rappelled before, its creepy as all hell to trust yourself to little piece of metal, friction, and a rope 12mm thick. i went down with a harness. brent went down with a harness. heather went down with a harness. dave went down, although he was scared out of his mind, so it was really slow. really slow! but he made it down. so suzie decided it was her turn. i was at the top helping people get all set up. i didn't have a harness on at this time. i started rearranging ropes so no one would get all caught up in them. suzie had the harness almost on. brent was making sure everything was ok and that her harness was on correctly. heather was on her way back to the top around the side of the cliff. i put the rope around my body just in case and to show how someone would rappel without a harness. luckily it was around my waist and over my back, etc. etc. with both of my hands on the rope. one more step back. one more while explaining. crap i should have been looking. whoops. ah shit. hold on. both hands. wow, i'm going fast. hold on tighter. no tighter. shit. ouch that hurts. wow, thats burning. better let go a little. no wait. falling faster. thats not good. oh hey, there's mike standing there with his hands in his pockets. hi mike. oh and theres nancy. wow her hair is big. wonder why she has her mouth open and her hands to her face. funny. she's not making any sound. nancy, are you ok. shit. i'm going pretty fast now. whoa. spinning around. rock on my left. ah crap. and i gotta go through these trees. crap. those are close. tree limbs. rock face. whoa. ouch. shit. crap. hey. oh, ok. ouch. thats a tree limb. who cares if it burns. if you don't hold on to this rope its gonna hurt a lot more. hold on. hold on. hold on. tree limb. rock face. tree above. tree below. tree to the right. rock to my left. push yourself away from the rock. push yourself away from the tree. hold on. tighter. theres a log on the ground. must avoid that somehow. push. ouch. stupid tree limbs. push again. gotta hold on. and folks if you would kindly return your seats to the full upright condition, the captain has requested you return to your seats and buckle your safety belt. we will be arriving at the red river gorge valley floor in 0.1 second. the local time will be 8.03am and the weather is overcast at 64 degrees. thank you for flying with 'you're fucked if you don't hold on for dear life' we hope you never ever have to fly with us again because next time you won't be so lucky. thwaaaaaaaaaaamp. whew. rock 6 inches to my left. log 4 inches to my right. earth and leaves below me. tree above. poop, luckily not in my pants. same with the pee. prayersof thankfulness, still at the top of the cliff slowly falling back to my head. pain, also coming, but a lot faster. i look up. i see brent's head. "hi brent" "you ok, man?" "yeah, i'm ok. i think i'm going to need some tape though." i get up. nothings broken. thats good. back to the top. pour some water. my hands look like hell. and not the good kind either. i insist a little tape and an aspirin and i'm money. luckily everyone unanimously votes no and off to the local emergency room it is. 45 minutes later, three u-turns, and two gas stations to ask for directions later, and we're there. a photograph to document it. and then i'm on something fierce. vicatin or ridilin or valtrex or something. whatever it is, its making me laugh like a giddy little schoolgirl. oh annnd i'm out. (btw.. thanks for feeding me a granola bar nancy). they stitched me up apparantly and the drugs are wearing off. pain has set in. yikes that hurts. back to the car. back to the campsite. everyone votes to go home. even though its saturday and only 1.23pm. i vote no. we came here to go camping and damnit, we're going camping and hiking. i don't care that it takes a whole hell of a lot of effort to wipe my ass after a poop. we're camping. luckily my vote has more power. (moral of that is to fall off a cliff and almost die. you get more voting power). we stay and go hiking for 5 miles. then camp out that night. i can't hold anything and people have to feed me. bedtime. i can't zip up my sleeping bag either, so someone has to zip that up. morning. i can't get out and i gotta pee. wake up mike. thanks mike for unzipping my .... sleeping bag zipper. no thanks. i'll do everything else myself. i dunno. i'll manage. car ride home. we gotta stop at waffle house. its tradition. someone feed me please. i'll keep my hands under the table so the waitress doesn't mistake me for the invisible man. thank you for cutting and feeding me. straw please. needless to say i was pretty unproductive for the next month. but i'm alive and i can still use my fingers and my back and everything else. the only thing which got damaged was my ego.
what did i gain from this? an unquenchable zest for life and a need to experience everything i can possibly experience. to live life to its fullest. to try. to always try. to find what i like to do and do it with passion. to live. now. sleep. laugh. play. experience. fun. young. whim. try. smile. pride. keep well. climb. no worries. to be myself and love it. its a process and experience i am so extremely lucky to have and i can't even begin to explain it. its so deep and so meaningful and significant, this life, i'm not going to waste it.
i'm living it and loving it.. ++

Sunday, May 23, 2004

# 6 ..

++ 6. Now i'm proud of my heritage.
i now am proud to be asian. i take offense when people make ethnic remarks which are counter-productive to society. i embrace my ethnicity and strive to know as much as i can about where i come from. i go so far as to do an architecture thesis where i can do research to 'find myself'. i'm not sure after a full year of research that i know myself any better, but at the very least i know more about how i have come to be, where i have come from, the things and events and people which make up my life and have allowed me to become the person i am, and my family, some of who i never met. its awesome to me to be able to devote so much time and effort into finding my roots. it has allowed me to talk with my parents and grandparents about their lives and their childhoods and their parents and grandparents. it has given me the opportunity to ask questions i would otherwise never of been in the situation to ask them. they have told me stories about my relatives which seem to be fairytales and stories which you only read in books and mystery novels. and yet they are true. they are me. they are my history and my past. they embrace me. they are me. my life is one of a strand of lonliness which comes from not being to relate to anyone. i'm not saying i'm lonly. i'm not saying that at all. i am saying that i have had to carve out my own path, break my own trail, and experience everything for the first time, because i have no one who has led the same path and am in the same situation as i am. (not that this isn't true for everyone else.) i know no other person who is a first generation born half chinese - half caucasion first born child who hails from another country and has moved to the states at a very young age. i know people who fit half that bill. i know people who fit the other half ofthat bill. sometimes even 2/3 or 3/4, but i have yet to meet someone who has done it before me. someone i can look to for advice and someone who i can relate to completely. this void in my life has led me to make my own decisions with the foresight of only my own thoughts and dreams. i'm not asking for a pity friend. thats certainly not the point of this. i'm not asking for any sort of special treatment. i'm just saying, i'm proud of where i am and who i am today and i don't care what anybody else says to me or about me. its not that i'm stuck up or that i'm an ass (which to be fair sometimes i am) or that i'm a jerk. its just that i am who i am because of the decisions and experiences i have gone through and i know its because i have made them all on my own. i am the decision maker of my life and i am proud. and its because of that, that i don't care what you think about me. i'm going to continue to do the things i do and if you like them, then good. lets be friends. if you don't like them, i'm sorry. have a nice life. maybe in the next chapter of our lives we will make ammends. i am jay. i am asian. and i'm proud of it. ++

# 5 ..

++ 5. When i was younger (as compared to littler or smaller?) i used to wish i were 'white'.
i can remember looking through yearbooks hen i was in second and third grade and looking at everybody and wishing i looked more like them. i don't think i understood that i was different from everyone else before then. it hadn't occurred to me that i was asian and 'they' were white. quite a shock let me tell you. all of a sudden i wasn't just the smart kid or the kid with glasses. nope, i was the smart asian kid with glasses. interesting. so, i pretty much tried to make myself look like everyone else. which i found out its hard to change your genetics. go figure. so then i tried to just to get everyone to like me. which is also pretty hard when you're genetically shy. the other way to solve this problem is to just be better at everything than everyone else. if you are the best, then people want you on their team. so between trying to be the best and trying to get everyone to like, it still doesn't hide the fact that you are the only asian in a class of 200 elementary kids all in the same grade and all the same ag as you. and it doesn't help that your name is jay, which just so happens to rhyme with many other three letter words that end in -ay .. you know like lay and may and say and ray. right, so back to the yearbook. oh wait, had i talked about hte yearbook yet? hm. ok, well i had a yearbook and it had everybody's picture in it (and this doesn't have anything to do with me not being 'white'.) so i went through the year book and i can remember using a marker and marking the people i liked and the people i didn't like. and i think there were a few people in there where i had no idea if i liked them or not. those people didn't get a marker color. one of hte colors was orange and other was green. i don't know why. i don't even know why i remembered that. but thats the colors i remember using. i think i only did it for 2nd and 3rd grade. i remember my 2nd grade teacher was named mrs. morrison. she was a nice teacher. my 3rd grade teacher was mrs. haddux..i think. she was old. one time we hada spelling test and she had all the words up on a piece of paper that the entire class could see, but she had forgot to change it. someone finally told her and most of us groaned at the kid who told her. oh, i remember being in 3rd grade and watching the challenger spaceship blow up in mid-air. that wasn't cool. oh and reading rainbow. with lavaar burton. oh right, so not being 'white'. that stigma stuck with me all the way through middle-school i think and it kind of stopped being an issue once i got to high school and one i changed school systems. it helped to be the soccer captain and president of the choir and pushed a grade ahead of everyone in math. sometimes i still look in the mirror and realize i'm asian. it slips my mind sometimes. ++

Friday, May 21, 2004

# 4 ..

++ 4. I have known my oldest best friend longer than i have known my own brother.
so i've known my oldest best friend since i was 2 years old. my brother wasn't born until i was 2 years and 9 months old. granted i've spent more time with my brother and we grew up in the same househould and family. but my oldest best friend might as well of been a part of the family. he was over enough that sometimes when i was growing up i would see him more than my brother. and you know what, i don't actually know what my brother did during the day in the summer when my oldest best friend (obf) and i terrorized those ants with fire. oldest memory is riding big wheels down the hallway and crashing into the wall. every big wheel we ever had had a hole in the front tire. things only got worse from there. shoe throwing in the mornings as a wake up call. music wars over hte phone (even though i really didn't know of any music.) engine starter and a match. origmai paper balls, gasoline, a long string and a match. countless games of kickball in the court. two hand touch football in the court. capture the flag in woods. riding bicycles everywhere. scars from bicycle crashes. 'breaking' into the stadium so we could go sledding down the hill. enough soccer games to constitute a lifetime. punching the other team and headlocks. a friend punching my obf (the only time i have ever seen him cry. it must have really hurt.) nintendo. bases loaded and double dragon o nthe nintendo. fire. enough said with that. sleepovers. goalies follies. wars with the little toy men, i can't even remember what they were called, but i do remember they hurt a whole hell of a lot when you got hit with them. fireworks. adam sandler on my stereo in my room when his first cd first came out (before they put ratings on all the music and anyone could buy anything.) paper routes. more bicycle injuries. more scars and scabs. running over the summer to get back into shape. putting things to float in a the pond and then taking rocks and trying to sink them. a feeble attempt at tennis one summer. roller hockey. home-run derby. bottle rockets. wrestling matches in the side yard. adam's. mike's. brian and john's. jessica and aaron's. chad's. insani's. saunder's. four-square. a tournament bracket with only 3 people for ping-pong that makes the ncaa b-ball tournament look small. never finishing the tournament. winnie. an absence of a few years where my obf did his own thing and i did my own thing. rock climbing. drinking at some elementary school. more ping pong. toilet papering. sporking. ha, a homecoming dance i think it was or maybe it was a sadie hawkins dance. clifton gorge. uc vs. osu football game. aerosmith concert. man, the memories go on and on. this is just the tip of the iceberg. too many to write them all down.. ++

# 3 ..

++ 3. Soccer has been in my life since I was 5 years old.
i think that means that i have been playing soccer for longer than the incoming freshman have been alive. i actually stepped out onto the soccer field before they were born. how old does that make me feel? i have played on many different soccer teams and have played with many different people and i would have to say that i am the best soccer player in the entire world. the ENTIRE world. hands down. feet up. whoa. what just happenned. what kind of position would that put me in..oh right, a handstand. or is it come kind of weird perverted sexual position.. no, i'm pretty sure that can't be it. i've always played both spring and fall soccer and when i figured out that that wasn't enough, i started playing winter soccer as well. somewhere there was always a break, but i'm pretty sure it never lasted for more than a few weeks or so. and it was usually interspersed with some other sport..basketball or baseball. after i got to college, i scaled back on the soccer and its kind of been absent in my life until this year. i recently was re-united with my longtime friend..soccer..and we've been going on dates a few times a week, sometimes twice in a day at 5 different leagues. its been a nice run. i'm getting tired. we might have to go on a little break again.. ++

Thursday, May 20, 2004

# 2 ..

++ 2. I like television to much to give it up, even if i don't have cable.
i went to san francisco without a television. the guy who lived below me had an extra television and said i could use it until i left. i went to seattle and all we had was a television without cable. its almost annoying to think of how much snow and fuzz was on that television, yet we still watched it. i went to san francisco a second time and would go to best buy in order to watch television, before one of my roommates finally caved and bought a television. sometimes i leave studio and go home just so i can watch television. sometimes i get up out of bed just so i can go sloth out on the couch in front of the television. sometimes i stop cooking so i can go watch something on television. sometimes i stop mid sentance so i can listen to a funny line in a sitcom. sometimes i hang up on people because i'm watching a show. sometimes i make coffee so i can stay up later and watch television. sometimes i drive over the speed limit so i can make it back soon enough to see the beginning of a show. man, i'm hungry. ++

Tuesday, May 18, 2004

# 1 ..

++ 1. I am easily distracted.
it is extremely unusual for me to start something and .. crap i'm still on this sentance .. than actually work through until its finished. when packing, i can get everything packed in day. thats not a problem. but the little tasks have to be broken down in to even smaller tasks and those into smaller tasks in order for me to be able to mark things off my checklist. actually, now that i think about it, i don't like to ue checklists. well sometimes i do. on one hand, using checklists are great if you can actually get it all done in a reasonable amount of time and check things off every few hours or so. they suck when it takes you a whole 3 months to check off a few things. oh and that reminds me, i hate those digital 'post it' notes people put on their desktop. i understand they are more tree saving efficient and blah blah blah, but post it notes are just so cool. even cooler now that they come in an infinite number of shapes, sizes, and colors. plus to have something there that you can actually write on or tear off or throw away is much more satisfying than the stupid computer versions. and speaking of computers, i'm not a big fan of people who are so for one type of computer and so against the other type of computer. for example (as if there are any others) apple computers and pc computers. yes, there are pros and cons to each. you know what, i don't even know why i'm talking about computer preferences. blah blah blah. ..drink.. ..blow nose.. its clear snot. thats good. ..just allergies then. not a cold. do you look at your snot after you blow? is that just a gross thing to bring up? its almost a taboo subject. kind of like wiping your ass. i don't want to know what you do with the toilet paper after you wipe your ass and i'm not going to tell you what i do with it. thats about how taboo of a subject it is. its one of those absolutely intimate moments in ones life. those 5 minutes (15-30 for some) you are on the throne, doing number 2 a favor. it would suck i think not be able to wipe your own ass. you see.. i'm easily distracted.. ++


++ Each post will be about 1 thing about me until you will eventually know 100 things about me. some you will already know. others you won't. others you will wish you didn't know. they will be in no particular order. i will post what it is and then give a little explanation to each. a little background. possibly a story. a reason or two why. its possible i won't even write anything related to the said 'thing about me'. i might just write about the weather if i deem it necessary. the first 50 or so are pretty easy to do, but i've struggled with the last 20 or so. actually, i started this list this past summer and i still haven't finished it yet. i think right now i'm on number 94. which gives me at least 94 more days to come up with the last 6..
oh yeah, i'll start the countdown (or should it be a countup?) tomorrow.. ++

Sunday, May 16, 2004


++ 'The twenty-somethings'. an age where your existance is below teenagers and full-blown adults. old enough to vote. old enough to smoke. old enough to drink. not old enough to hold any kind of position. not old enough to hold any kind of responsibility. not old enough to make any sizable income. its the perfect age of nothingness. twenty-somethings hold no power in this society. its the perfect time to rob a bank. if you don't get caught, money money money money monnnnnney money. if you do get caught. you still have time to live a good life after you get out of federal poke me in the ass prison. assuming you can still walk. ..but poor because you suck at robbing banks. ++

Saturday, May 15, 2004


Megan : you've been red flagged by the intramural refs. way to go
Jay.. : huh?
megan : i was talking to my friend who's a ref
jay.. : and..
megan :hes the guy who always initiates contact then falls down and complains that nobody calls anything
jay.. : ha!
megan :he said they've talked about you at the ref meetings
jay.. : i haven't complained at all
jay.. : matt is the one who complains
megan : haha, i know
jay.. : i don't ever say anything, because i know i'm falling
megan : you just tumble
jay.. : i know. and i know its not the other teams fault, so i don't say anything
jay.. : ha!
megan : way to go jay
jay.. : haha. they talk about me.
megan : yep, you're infamous
jay.. : its kind of like winning the lottery. except i don't get anything ++

Friday, May 14, 2004


++ So i tried to go to sleep last night and couldn't fall asleep, so instead i popped in a movie, "the last samurai", which by the way is a really good movie. (tom, if you are reading this you should watch it and then give it one of your lame-o reviews. i'd like to know what the movie guru has to say about it.) right, so this is off topic. so 4.00am rolls around and the movie is over and i'm thirsty. roll out of bed. stop movie. open door. walk. look to my right. wow, thats a bright light. i don't remember the street lights being so bright. gander. shuffle in the dark. ouch, shit. that hurts. window. look. oh, just a fire. not a big deal. must be the neighbors having a little nofire in the middle of our yard. go get the water i was going to get in the first place. fridge. no wait, i need a glass. now fridge. water? damn, can't see a thing. light. oh wow, now look at the light coming in, thats much brighter than 10 seconds ago. damn, my toe hurts. walk to window. avoid stupid table. yup, thats a big fire. and nope its not the neighbors. what would the neighbors be doing starting a fire at 4am anyway. oh wait, they are meatheads. walk briskly to my room. enough light from the fire to see the table now, thats for sure. find phone. camera? crap, where's my phone. leave room. walk down stairs. look out window. holy shit! why is the trash can on fire! wow. 2..3 feet worth of flame. yeah, i realyl should go and find my phone now. heart is beating faster. oh wait, that could because i'm walking up this flight of stairs. room. phone. phone. phone. there it is. don't run. its only a trash can. but faster. down the stairs. outside. that smells like trash. .. on fire. what is the fire department's phone number? no time. just dial 911. think i'll get in trouble? what would they ask me? oh, who cares.. 8..9..10 feet worth of flame! 2 feet away from the car. the other trashcan is starting to deform from the heat. telephone pole 2 feet away. it has a transformer on the top. this could get bad. ok, number punched in. just hit send. oh hey, its nick. what's nick doing here. hey. hi. i just called the fire department. oh ok, good, i was just about to dial. yeah i told them to come quickly. yeah, i didn't want to call. we should go wake up the neighbors and tell them to move their car. good call. wow, thats hot. theres anti-freeze flowing down the sidewalk. that can't be good. is that legal? i can hear the fire truck coming. hi, yeah, the trash can is on fire out here and is that your car next to it. huh? someone should move it i think. oh yeah, thats mine. yeah, i should move it. thanks for waking me up. theres the fire truck. wow, hose and everything. think we should move back? they haven't said anything to us, so i guess we'll be ok. wow, oh thats white light. don't look at it. thats electrical. burns your retinas. is john awake yet? nope. man, thats not good. hi. hey. hi. do you think there was a cigarette butt in there? beats me. i don't know. i don't smoke. ok. that was quick. there they go. weird! they didn't even ask anything else. do you think the cops will come? ha. there's a maxim magazine in there taht didn't burn. crap its 4.30. i gotta get to bed. so thats it? guess so. interesting. uh. ok. hey thanks for waking me up. no problem. ok. crap. how am i gonna sleep now. ha. if the cops aren't coming and thats the only question the firemen are going to ask us, lets light the other trash cans on fire tomorrow morning. ha. we could light on fire every night if thats all thats going to happen to us. yeah. smart. really? no! ha. interesting..

trash can in background is deformed from the heat..

you can still see the wheels..yeah, that plastic is not coming up.. ++

Tuesday, May 11, 2004


++ He's poor. he's single. he's male. he lives in washington dc. eat it up ladies.

"So I am emailing you all to let you know that I am offically poor. I was looking up apartments today for a project and I started to look up for me as well and I was noticing that the LOW INCOME affordable housing units have a income of no more then $38,460 a year to live there. That is more than what I make net income. So in their words I qualify for affordable housing in DC, let me remind you what that is, that is where the janitors and people on welfare live and all. So basically I am poor. I ran an income calculator and what I make in DC is worth less than 24 thousand in Cincy, hahaha. I would be making a better income working at Abercrombie right now instead of working for BAE. How messed up is that one? I can't help but laugh at how pathetic my income is here. Got to love it, I think I made more in college than I do know.
-Joe ++

Monday, May 10, 2004


++ These are my all-time pet peeves in no particular order.
01. people telling me what to do. yeah, uh huh. whatever.
02. people who don't use turn signals when they are clearly turning.
03. slow drives in fast lanes. move.
04. schedules.
05. crackly phones. maybe its just my phone.
06. people who play poker and don't know what they are doing and end up on the final table.
07. people who talk a lot of junk, but can't play to back it up.
08. people who talk a lot of junk. shut up and play or just do it.
09. people who don't try 100%. if you're half-assing it or tired, get off the field or don't come at all.
10. people without integrity. if you say you believe in something, back it up. don't talk junk.
11. people who think you are attacking them when you criticize something about their organization.
12. people who don't give others a chance. they talk junk without ever trying it. go try it first.
13. allergies.
14. ..

Sunday, May 09, 2004


++ All of my IM conversations in the past week have been about soccer. For example..
Jay (10:48:22 PM): how is mark?
jay (10:48:32 PM): you see him puking in the parking lot after the game?
Tom (10:48:38 PM): Dunno, have not seen him since the game
tom (10:48:47 PM): He pukes either before or after every game
jay (10:48:50 PM): really?
jay (10:48:54 PM): i didn't know that.
tom (10:48:56 PM): Its because he smokes up right before each game
jay (10:48:56 PM): how cool!
tom (10:49:06 PM): He is a serious pot head
jay (10:49:19 PM): there was a guy who played for xenia who would puke before every game
jay (10:49:28 PM): ritual
tom (10:49:31 PM): Usually mark pukes at half time
jay (10:49:31 PM): he was good too
jay (10:49:36 PM): ha. cool
tom (10:49:36 PM): and then plays a better second half
jay (10:49:39 PM): yeah
tom (10:49:46 PM): I always thought that pot stopped you from puking though
jay (10:49:52 PM): i don't think so
tom (10:49:54 PM): I was really suprised the first time I witnessed it
jay (10:50:03 PM): first time you saw him smoke?
jay (10:50:05 PM): or puke?
tom (10:50:10 PM): puke
tom (10:50:16 PM): I knew he was a big hippie
jay (10:50:29 PM): usually the pukers are good
jay (10:50:36 PM): makes 'em faster
jay (10:50:41 PM): less weight
jay (10:50:44 PM): some call it bolemia
jay (10:50:55 PM): we soccer players call it weight management
tom (10:51:12 PM): HAHAHAHAHA
Jay.. : We won 9-0 just in case you were wondering.
Megan : I don't believe it.
jay.. : i scored twice (you're really not going to believe it now) matt scored 2. suzie scored 2.
jay.. : cliff - 1. michelle - 1.
megan : so this is how good i am at studying - i came to the conclusion that you guys had to have played against yourselves which is why the score was 'apparently' 8 - zip. right. so structures rocks my world and i'm back to that now. later
jay.. : lol
jay.. : thats what you have been doing since i last talked to you two hours ago. trying to figure out why we won 8-0?
jay.. : lame-o.
megan : no no no....not the WHOLE time. just during brain farts in studying. call it a.d.d., call it a guilt trip. and has it really been 2 hours? i swear i'm not that useless
jay.. : uh huh. i've seen you play soccer. ++

Thursday, May 06, 2004


++ There are really no more than 6 people who read this on a semi-constant basis. constant being defined as ever .. or so.
1. me.
2. tom.
3. gary.
4. steve.
5. "Blazin' Kitty"
6. "Rene" from the Czech Republic.

Wednesday, May 05, 2004


++ Apparantly its now made the oddly enough news on yahoo.
I thought it was hilarious. oddly enough he didn't really seem to mind or think it outrageously out of the ordinary. the article says columbus and gahana. he said reynoldsburg. i suppose its pretty much one in the same.
"town goes on a lion hunt"

Tuesday, May 04, 2004


++ Also from the same friend in c-bus. this joke is also easily replaceable with architect. (except that we actually do work.)

A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there, another customer walked in and said to the shopkeeper, "I'll have an AutoCAD monkey, please." The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a cage at the side of the shop and took out a monkey. He fitted a collar and leash, handed it to the customer, saying, "That'll be $5000." The customer paid and walked out with his monkey. Startled, the tourist went over to the shopkeeper and said, "That was a very expensive monkey. Most of them are only few hundred dollars. Why did that one cost so much?" The Shopkeeper answered, "Ah, that monkey can draw in AutoCAD - very fast, clear layouts, no mistakes, well worth the money."
The tourist looked at a monkey in another cage. "That one's even more expensive! $10,000! What does it do?" "Oh, that one's a Design monkey; it can design systems, layout projects, mark-up drawings, write specifications, some even calculations. All the really useful stuff," said the shopkeeper. The tourist looked around for a little longer and saw a third monkey in its own cage. The price tag around its neck read $50,000. He gasped to the shopkeeper, "That one costs more than all the others put together! What on earth does it do?" The shopkeeper replied, "Well, I haven't actually seen it do anything, but it says it's an Engineer." ++

Monday, May 03, 2004


++ From a friend in c-bus. its an engineer joke, however easily replaced with architect. (except that architects aren't as blunt or cruel. we would definately stretch out those 7 words to more like 20 or 30. and when we finished with what we said, you would have no idea what we meant.)

A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!" The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him." "Hi George! Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?" The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."
The group was silent for a moment. The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight. "The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them." The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"++

Saturday, May 01, 2004


++ Of course though it was only my friends and there were only four of us, but we considered it a tournament. buy in was $10 and we played, 10 cent, 20 cent, 50 cent, 1 dollar. i think the lowest i went down was about to $4.00, but i would say for most of the time i was right around breaking even or down a dollar. blinds were 10/20, but no one was betting enough or losing enough, so we upped it to 20/40 and things got rolling. i knocked nick out first, then suckered aj in and then threw down a full house to take most of his money. matt stuck around for a long time but that was because he was playing conservative, which he always does, which isn't a bad thing, it did get him into the final two. there weren't many more hands after it got down to just the two of us. last hand i had was pocket aces. the only one of the night for me. beautiful. $30 richer. go me.
on another note..39 more days til graduation..++

Friday, April 30, 2004


++ If you or anyone you know is hiring for the summer (non-salaried position) and want to hire a soon to be person with a masters degree in architecture, please email me or call me. i need a job. i'm not looking for a retail job. i'm not looking for a job in the food industry. i'm looking for a job in the architectural or engineering field. architectural prefebly, because i most likely don't know enough to be a productive engieneer employee. i also don't know if i would ever want to say i was a pseudo-engineer. that would hurt my soul. but then again, at the right price, anything is possible. hire me. please. ++

Thursday, April 29, 2004


++ Wednesday was tech crit/midterm reviews. i pulled my first all-nighter on tuesday for the first time since about 2nd year. well, technically i got 45 minutes of sleep on the couch in studio, but it was intermittent at that and its only because i was waiting for my drawings to plot. so, it was more like a nap and less like sleep. oh, and i was sitting, not laying down. but because i know you care...tech crits went well. i showed them a bunch of stuff they had not seen yet..something about two independent structural systems, one of 30" concrete sitting in a rubble trench with 30" of rammed earth on of the concrete and the second a free-standing roof supported by 40" glulam beams sitting on huge concrete footings, slipping through the walls. its quite beautiful in section how these two overly huge systems can work simbiotically in such a confined space in such an extreme environment. the committee asked some provoking questions and brought up several points which were both useful and of value. one more hoop to jump through and then its time to pomp and circumstance my way outta here. ++

Monday, April 26, 2004


++ "Look to your left. now look to your right. in front of you. and behind you. these are your classmates, but not the next six years. just for the moment. at the end of your six years here, only one of these people will still be your classmate." jerry larson said this to us at the freshman orientation 5.5 years ago. i can remember looking to my left and right and front and back and thinking, thats not going to be me. i'm not going to be one of the people who drop out. but then again, i think everyone thought that they weren't going to be the one dropping out. we all thought we were the superior self.
anyone not performing up to their lofty goals feel inferior to others, even if their goals are unattianable or ridiculous.
48 days left..++

Sunday, April 25, 2004


++ First day of classes: september 18, 1998.
current day: april 25, 2004.
completed days since the first day of classes: 2047
days left until the final daap graduation: 49
percentage of completed days til graduation: 97.66%
2047 days = 49,128 hours = 2,947,680 minutes = 176,860,800 seconds
2047 days = 292.43 weeks = 67.32 months = 5.61 years
three quarters of tuition of graduate school at the university of cincinnati: $11,373
days for three quarters of classes at the university of cincinnati: 264
cost per day to be a graduate student (just tuition.) at the university of cincinnati: $43.08
cost per day to be a graduate student (everything) at the university of cincinnati: i don't want to even calculate it. it would depress me.

Thursday, April 22, 2004


++ Can dirt ever be created or destroyed?
it accumulates. we 'clean' it up and toss whatever we used to 'clean' it up into the trash. so what does it mean really to 'clean' something? is it not really removing what is there and then applying a non-native replacement? think about it. we are merely moving dirt from one location to another. what does it mean to clean? isn't dirt really just another frame of reference which plays from our mind? what is clean to me isn't clean to you. if i were to buy a pair of new shoes and take them out of the box and then put them on my feet, would you consider those shoes squeeky clean and new? you might not even want to walk outside and instead wear them only indoors on carpet because you don't want to dirty up your shoes. now take those squeeky clean new shoes which are on your feet and sit down at the dinner table and prop your feet up on the table. chances are if you were at yoru grandparent's home or your parent's home or even better yet at any formal event, someone would scold you or yell at you and tell you to take your dirty shoes off the table. so what exactly does it mean to be clean? is everything clean and we just don't know it? maybe to be clean and dirty are the same thing. its only potential dirt or 'kinetic' dirt depending on your surroundings, the crowd present, and the situation. ++