++ 7. I've fallen 85 feet off a cliff and survived with only 2nd and 3rd degree burns on my hands and stitches in my back.
..
yeah yeah. or maybe it was only 80 feet.
did my life flash before my eyes? no.
did i ever think i was going to die? no.
did it feel like forever when i was falling? yeah.
what did you think? only the most basic primal emotions. pain. and survival.
did you yell? no.
did you scream? no.
at all? no.
who was there? mike, nancy, heather, brent, dave, suzie. i think thats it.
how did it happen? i took a step back and fell.
wh..huh? i'll explain in a second.
when was this? about three and a half years ago. fall 2000.
did it hurt? not at first.
did you go to the hospital? didn't want to, but 'they' made me.
are you glad? actually, yeah.
so story please. ok.
..
we went camping at the red river gorge. on a friday we got down there and got to the top of a cliff, which is really spacious on top. it was fall and it was some weekend getaway thing. the kind where you are looking forward to it for months in advance and you're going rain or shine. no excuses. so we went on friday after studio. camped out. camp-fire. blah blah blah. the next morning brent and i got up at the crack of dawn. because thats what you do when you go cmaping. you get up early. and we decided that it was going to be the perfect time and place to go rapelling (little did we know and later did we find that its illegal to rappel off the cliffs at the red.) so we set up some top rope thing and strapped on our harnesses and started rappelling. it was one of those overhanging rappels where at the top you go over the edge and you aren't touching the rock with your feet or anything. later down the line the rock straightens out and comes back and you can actually put your feet on the rock and push away. so if you have never rappelled before, its creepy as all hell to trust yourself to little piece of metal, friction, and a rope 12mm thick. i went down with a harness. brent went down with a harness. heather went down with a harness. dave went down, although he was scared out of his mind, so it was really slow. really slow! but he made it down. so suzie decided it was her turn. i was at the top helping people get all set up. i didn't have a harness on at this time. i started rearranging ropes so no one would get all caught up in them. suzie had the harness almost on. brent was making sure everything was ok and that her harness was on correctly. heather was on her way back to the top around the side of the cliff. i put the rope around my body just in case and to show how someone would rappel without a harness. luckily it was around my waist and over my back, etc. etc. with both of my hands on the rope. one more step back. one more while explaining. crap i should have been looking. whoops. ah shit. hold on. both hands. wow, i'm going fast. hold on tighter. no tighter. shit. ouch that hurts. wow, thats burning. better let go a little. no wait. falling faster. thats not good. oh hey, there's mike standing there with his hands in his pockets. hi mike. oh and theres nancy. wow her hair is big. wonder why she has her mouth open and her hands to her face. funny. she's not making any sound. nancy, are you ok. shit. i'm going pretty fast now. whoa. spinning around. rock on my left. ah crap. and i gotta go through these trees. crap. those are close. tree limbs. rock face. whoa. ouch. shit. crap. hey. oh, ok. ouch. thats a tree limb. who cares if it burns. if you don't hold on to this rope its gonna hurt a lot more. hold on. hold on. hold on. tree limb. rock face. tree above. tree below. tree to the right. rock to my left. push yourself away from the rock. push yourself away from the tree. hold on. tighter. theres a log on the ground. must avoid that somehow. push. ouch. stupid tree limbs. push again. gotta hold on. and folks if you would kindly return your seats to the full upright condition, the captain has requested you return to your seats and buckle your safety belt. we will be arriving at the red river gorge valley floor in 0.1 second. the local time will be 8.03am and the weather is overcast at 64 degrees. thank you for flying with 'you're fucked if you don't hold on for dear life' we hope you never ever have to fly with us again because next time you won't be so lucky. thwaaaaaaaaaaamp. whew. rock 6 inches to my left. log 4 inches to my right. earth and leaves below me. tree above. poop, luckily not in my pants. same with the pee. prayersof thankfulness, still at the top of the cliff slowly falling back to my head. pain, also coming, but a lot faster. i look up. i see brent's head. "hi brent" "you ok, man?" "yeah, i'm ok. i think i'm going to need some tape though." i get up. nothings broken. thats good. back to the top. pour some water. my hands look like hell. and not the good kind either. i insist a little tape and an aspirin and i'm money. luckily everyone unanimously votes no and off to the local emergency room it is. 45 minutes later, three u-turns, and two gas stations to ask for directions later, and we're there. a photograph to document it. and then i'm on something fierce. vicatin or ridilin or valtrex or something. whatever it is, its making me laugh like a giddy little schoolgirl. oh annnd i'm out. (btw.. thanks for feeding me a granola bar nancy). they stitched me up apparantly and the drugs are wearing off. pain has set in. yikes that hurts. back to the car. back to the campsite. everyone votes to go home. even though its saturday and only 1.23pm. i vote no. we came here to go camping and damnit, we're going camping and hiking. i don't care that it takes a whole hell of a lot of effort to wipe my ass after a poop. we're camping. luckily my vote has more power. (moral of that is to fall off a cliff and almost die. you get more voting power). we stay and go hiking for 5 miles. then camp out that night. i can't hold anything and people have to feed me. bedtime. i can't zip up my sleeping bag either, so someone has to zip that up. morning. i can't get out and i gotta pee. wake up mike. thanks mike for unzipping my .... sleeping bag zipper. no thanks. i'll do everything else myself. i dunno. i'll manage. car ride home. we gotta stop at waffle house. its tradition. someone feed me please. i'll keep my hands under the table so the waitress doesn't mistake me for the invisible man. thank you for cutting and feeding me. straw please. needless to say i was pretty unproductive for the next month. but i'm alive and i can still use my fingers and my back and everything else. the only thing which got damaged was my ego.
..
what did i gain from this? an unquenchable zest for life and a need to experience everything i can possibly experience. to live life to its fullest. to try. to always try. to find what i like to do and do it with passion. to live. now. sleep. laugh. play. experience. fun. young. whim. try. smile. pride. keep well. climb. no worries. to be myself and love it. its a process and experience i am so extremely lucky to have and i can't even begin to explain it. its so deep and so meaningful and significant, this life, i'm not going to waste it.
i'm living it and loving it.. ++
Monday, May 24, 2004
Sunday, May 23, 2004
# 6 ..
++ 6. Now i'm proud of my heritage.
..
i now am proud to be asian. i take offense when people make ethnic remarks which are counter-productive to society. i embrace my ethnicity and strive to know as much as i can about where i come from. i go so far as to do an architecture thesis where i can do research to 'find myself'. i'm not sure after a full year of research that i know myself any better, but at the very least i know more about how i have come to be, where i have come from, the things and events and people which make up my life and have allowed me to become the person i am, and my family, some of who i never met. its awesome to me to be able to devote so much time and effort into finding my roots. it has allowed me to talk with my parents and grandparents about their lives and their childhoods and their parents and grandparents. it has given me the opportunity to ask questions i would otherwise never of been in the situation to ask them. they have told me stories about my relatives which seem to be fairytales and stories which you only read in books and mystery novels. and yet they are true. they are me. they are my history and my past. they embrace me. they are me. my life is one of a strand of lonliness which comes from not being to relate to anyone. i'm not saying i'm lonly. i'm not saying that at all. i am saying that i have had to carve out my own path, break my own trail, and experience everything for the first time, because i have no one who has led the same path and am in the same situation as i am. (not that this isn't true for everyone else.) i know no other person who is a first generation born half chinese - half caucasion first born child who hails from another country and has moved to the states at a very young age. i know people who fit half that bill. i know people who fit the other half ofthat bill. sometimes even 2/3 or 3/4, but i have yet to meet someone who has done it before me. someone i can look to for advice and someone who i can relate to completely. this void in my life has led me to make my own decisions with the foresight of only my own thoughts and dreams. i'm not asking for a pity friend. thats certainly not the point of this. i'm not asking for any sort of special treatment. i'm just saying, i'm proud of where i am and who i am today and i don't care what anybody else says to me or about me. its not that i'm stuck up or that i'm an ass (which to be fair sometimes i am) or that i'm a jerk. its just that i am who i am because of the decisions and experiences i have gone through and i know its because i have made them all on my own. i am the decision maker of my life and i am proud. and its because of that, that i don't care what you think about me. i'm going to continue to do the things i do and if you like them, then good. lets be friends. if you don't like them, i'm sorry. have a nice life. maybe in the next chapter of our lives we will make ammends. i am jay. i am asian. and i'm proud of it. ++
..
i now am proud to be asian. i take offense when people make ethnic remarks which are counter-productive to society. i embrace my ethnicity and strive to know as much as i can about where i come from. i go so far as to do an architecture thesis where i can do research to 'find myself'. i'm not sure after a full year of research that i know myself any better, but at the very least i know more about how i have come to be, where i have come from, the things and events and people which make up my life and have allowed me to become the person i am, and my family, some of who i never met. its awesome to me to be able to devote so much time and effort into finding my roots. it has allowed me to talk with my parents and grandparents about their lives and their childhoods and their parents and grandparents. it has given me the opportunity to ask questions i would otherwise never of been in the situation to ask them. they have told me stories about my relatives which seem to be fairytales and stories which you only read in books and mystery novels. and yet they are true. they are me. they are my history and my past. they embrace me. they are me. my life is one of a strand of lonliness which comes from not being to relate to anyone. i'm not saying i'm lonly. i'm not saying that at all. i am saying that i have had to carve out my own path, break my own trail, and experience everything for the first time, because i have no one who has led the same path and am in the same situation as i am. (not that this isn't true for everyone else.) i know no other person who is a first generation born half chinese - half caucasion first born child who hails from another country and has moved to the states at a very young age. i know people who fit half that bill. i know people who fit the other half ofthat bill. sometimes even 2/3 or 3/4, but i have yet to meet someone who has done it before me. someone i can look to for advice and someone who i can relate to completely. this void in my life has led me to make my own decisions with the foresight of only my own thoughts and dreams. i'm not asking for a pity friend. thats certainly not the point of this. i'm not asking for any sort of special treatment. i'm just saying, i'm proud of where i am and who i am today and i don't care what anybody else says to me or about me. its not that i'm stuck up or that i'm an ass (which to be fair sometimes i am) or that i'm a jerk. its just that i am who i am because of the decisions and experiences i have gone through and i know its because i have made them all on my own. i am the decision maker of my life and i am proud. and its because of that, that i don't care what you think about me. i'm going to continue to do the things i do and if you like them, then good. lets be friends. if you don't like them, i'm sorry. have a nice life. maybe in the next chapter of our lives we will make ammends. i am jay. i am asian. and i'm proud of it. ++
# 5 ..
++ 5. When i was younger (as compared to littler or smaller?) i used to wish i were 'white'.
..
i can remember looking through yearbooks hen i was in second and third grade and looking at everybody and wishing i looked more like them. i don't think i understood that i was different from everyone else before then. it hadn't occurred to me that i was asian and 'they' were white. quite a shock let me tell you. all of a sudden i wasn't just the smart kid or the kid with glasses. nope, i was the smart asian kid with glasses. interesting. so, i pretty much tried to make myself look like everyone else. which i found out its hard to change your genetics. go figure. so then i tried to just to get everyone to like me. which is also pretty hard when you're genetically shy. the other way to solve this problem is to just be better at everything than everyone else. if you are the best, then people want you on their team. so between trying to be the best and trying to get everyone to like, it still doesn't hide the fact that you are the only asian in a class of 200 elementary kids all in the same grade and all the same ag as you. and it doesn't help that your name is jay, which just so happens to rhyme with many other three letter words that end in -ay .. you know like lay and may and say and ray. right, so back to the yearbook. oh wait, had i talked about hte yearbook yet? hm. ok, well i had a yearbook and it had everybody's picture in it (and this doesn't have anything to do with me not being 'white'.) so i went through the year book and i can remember using a marker and marking the people i liked and the people i didn't like. and i think there were a few people in there where i had no idea if i liked them or not. those people didn't get a marker color. one of hte colors was orange and other was green. i don't know why. i don't even know why i remembered that. but thats the colors i remember using. i think i only did it for 2nd and 3rd grade. i remember my 2nd grade teacher was named mrs. morrison. she was a nice teacher. my 3rd grade teacher was mrs. haddux..i think. she was old. one time we hada spelling test and she had all the words up on a piece of paper that the entire class could see, but she had forgot to change it. someone finally told her and most of us groaned at the kid who told her. oh, i remember being in 3rd grade and watching the challenger spaceship blow up in mid-air. that wasn't cool. oh and reading rainbow. with lavaar burton. oh right, so not being 'white'. that stigma stuck with me all the way through middle-school i think and it kind of stopped being an issue once i got to high school and one i changed school systems. it helped to be the soccer captain and president of the choir and pushed a grade ahead of everyone in math. sometimes i still look in the mirror and realize i'm asian. it slips my mind sometimes. ++
..
i can remember looking through yearbooks hen i was in second and third grade and looking at everybody and wishing i looked more like them. i don't think i understood that i was different from everyone else before then. it hadn't occurred to me that i was asian and 'they' were white. quite a shock let me tell you. all of a sudden i wasn't just the smart kid or the kid with glasses. nope, i was the smart asian kid with glasses. interesting. so, i pretty much tried to make myself look like everyone else. which i found out its hard to change your genetics. go figure. so then i tried to just to get everyone to like me. which is also pretty hard when you're genetically shy. the other way to solve this problem is to just be better at everything than everyone else. if you are the best, then people want you on their team. so between trying to be the best and trying to get everyone to like, it still doesn't hide the fact that you are the only asian in a class of 200 elementary kids all in the same grade and all the same ag as you. and it doesn't help that your name is jay, which just so happens to rhyme with many other three letter words that end in -ay .. you know like lay and may and say and ray. right, so back to the yearbook. oh wait, had i talked about hte yearbook yet? hm. ok, well i had a yearbook and it had everybody's picture in it (and this doesn't have anything to do with me not being 'white'.) so i went through the year book and i can remember using a marker and marking the people i liked and the people i didn't like. and i think there were a few people in there where i had no idea if i liked them or not. those people didn't get a marker color. one of hte colors was orange and other was green. i don't know why. i don't even know why i remembered that. but thats the colors i remember using. i think i only did it for 2nd and 3rd grade. i remember my 2nd grade teacher was named mrs. morrison. she was a nice teacher. my 3rd grade teacher was mrs. haddux..i think. she was old. one time we hada spelling test and she had all the words up on a piece of paper that the entire class could see, but she had forgot to change it. someone finally told her and most of us groaned at the kid who told her. oh, i remember being in 3rd grade and watching the challenger spaceship blow up in mid-air. that wasn't cool. oh and reading rainbow. with lavaar burton. oh right, so not being 'white'. that stigma stuck with me all the way through middle-school i think and it kind of stopped being an issue once i got to high school and one i changed school systems. it helped to be the soccer captain and president of the choir and pushed a grade ahead of everyone in math. sometimes i still look in the mirror and realize i'm asian. it slips my mind sometimes. ++
Friday, May 21, 2004
# 4 ..
++ 4. I have known my oldest best friend longer than i have known my own brother.
..
so i've known my oldest best friend since i was 2 years old. my brother wasn't born until i was 2 years and 9 months old. granted i've spent more time with my brother and we grew up in the same househould and family. but my oldest best friend might as well of been a part of the family. he was over enough that sometimes when i was growing up i would see him more than my brother. and you know what, i don't actually know what my brother did during the day in the summer when my oldest best friend (obf) and i terrorized those ants with fire. oldest memory is riding big wheels down the hallway and crashing into the wall. every big wheel we ever had had a hole in the front tire. things only got worse from there. shoe throwing in the mornings as a wake up call. music wars over hte phone (even though i really didn't know of any music.) engine starter and a match. origmai paper balls, gasoline, a long string and a match. countless games of kickball in the court. two hand touch football in the court. capture the flag in woods. riding bicycles everywhere. scars from bicycle crashes. 'breaking' into the stadium so we could go sledding down the hill. enough soccer games to constitute a lifetime. punching the other team and headlocks. a friend punching my obf (the only time i have ever seen him cry. it must have really hurt.) nintendo. bases loaded and double dragon o nthe nintendo. fire. enough said with that. sleepovers. goalies follies. wars with the little toy men, i can't even remember what they were called, but i do remember they hurt a whole hell of a lot when you got hit with them. fireworks. adam sandler on my stereo in my room when his first cd first came out (before they put ratings on all the music and anyone could buy anything.) paper routes. more bicycle injuries. more scars and scabs. running over the summer to get back into shape. putting things to float in a the pond and then taking rocks and trying to sink them. a feeble attempt at tennis one summer. roller hockey. home-run derby. bottle rockets. wrestling matches in the side yard. adam's. mike's. brian and john's. jessica and aaron's. chad's. insani's. saunder's. four-square. a tournament bracket with only 3 people for ping-pong that makes the ncaa b-ball tournament look small. never finishing the tournament. winnie. an absence of a few years where my obf did his own thing and i did my own thing. rock climbing. drinking at some elementary school. more ping pong. toilet papering. sporking. ha, a homecoming dance i think it was or maybe it was a sadie hawkins dance. clifton gorge. uc vs. osu football game. aerosmith concert. man, the memories go on and on. this is just the tip of the iceberg. too many to write them all down.. ++
..
so i've known my oldest best friend since i was 2 years old. my brother wasn't born until i was 2 years and 9 months old. granted i've spent more time with my brother and we grew up in the same househould and family. but my oldest best friend might as well of been a part of the family. he was over enough that sometimes when i was growing up i would see him more than my brother. and you know what, i don't actually know what my brother did during the day in the summer when my oldest best friend (obf) and i terrorized those ants with fire. oldest memory is riding big wheels down the hallway and crashing into the wall. every big wheel we ever had had a hole in the front tire. things only got worse from there. shoe throwing in the mornings as a wake up call. music wars over hte phone (even though i really didn't know of any music.) engine starter and a match. origmai paper balls, gasoline, a long string and a match. countless games of kickball in the court. two hand touch football in the court. capture the flag in woods. riding bicycles everywhere. scars from bicycle crashes. 'breaking' into the stadium so we could go sledding down the hill. enough soccer games to constitute a lifetime. punching the other team and headlocks. a friend punching my obf (the only time i have ever seen him cry. it must have really hurt.) nintendo. bases loaded and double dragon o nthe nintendo. fire. enough said with that. sleepovers. goalies follies. wars with the little toy men, i can't even remember what they were called, but i do remember they hurt a whole hell of a lot when you got hit with them. fireworks. adam sandler on my stereo in my room when his first cd first came out (before they put ratings on all the music and anyone could buy anything.) paper routes. more bicycle injuries. more scars and scabs. running over the summer to get back into shape. putting things to float in a the pond and then taking rocks and trying to sink them. a feeble attempt at tennis one summer. roller hockey. home-run derby. bottle rockets. wrestling matches in the side yard. adam's. mike's. brian and john's. jessica and aaron's. chad's. insani's. saunder's. four-square. a tournament bracket with only 3 people for ping-pong that makes the ncaa b-ball tournament look small. never finishing the tournament. winnie. an absence of a few years where my obf did his own thing and i did my own thing. rock climbing. drinking at some elementary school. more ping pong. toilet papering. sporking. ha, a homecoming dance i think it was or maybe it was a sadie hawkins dance. clifton gorge. uc vs. osu football game. aerosmith concert. man, the memories go on and on. this is just the tip of the iceberg. too many to write them all down.. ++
# 3 ..
++ 3. Soccer has been in my life since I was 5 years old.
..
i think that means that i have been playing soccer for longer than the incoming freshman have been alive. i actually stepped out onto the soccer field before they were born. how old does that make me feel? i have played on many different soccer teams and have played with many different people and i would have to say that i am the best soccer player in the entire world. the ENTIRE world. hands down. feet up. whoa. what just happenned. what kind of position would that put me in..oh right, a handstand. or is it come kind of weird perverted sexual position.. no, i'm pretty sure that can't be it. i've always played both spring and fall soccer and when i figured out that that wasn't enough, i started playing winter soccer as well. somewhere there was always a break, but i'm pretty sure it never lasted for more than a few weeks or so. and it was usually interspersed with some other sport..basketball or baseball. after i got to college, i scaled back on the soccer and its kind of been absent in my life until this year. i recently was re-united with my longtime friend..soccer..and we've been going on dates a few times a week, sometimes twice in a day at 5 different leagues. its been a nice run. i'm getting tired. we might have to go on a little break again.. ++
..
i think that means that i have been playing soccer for longer than the incoming freshman have been alive. i actually stepped out onto the soccer field before they were born. how old does that make me feel? i have played on many different soccer teams and have played with many different people and i would have to say that i am the best soccer player in the entire world. the ENTIRE world. hands down. feet up. whoa. what just happenned. what kind of position would that put me in..oh right, a handstand. or is it come kind of weird perverted sexual position.. no, i'm pretty sure that can't be it. i've always played both spring and fall soccer and when i figured out that that wasn't enough, i started playing winter soccer as well. somewhere there was always a break, but i'm pretty sure it never lasted for more than a few weeks or so. and it was usually interspersed with some other sport..basketball or baseball. after i got to college, i scaled back on the soccer and its kind of been absent in my life until this year. i recently was re-united with my longtime friend..soccer..and we've been going on dates a few times a week, sometimes twice in a day at 5 different leagues. its been a nice run. i'm getting tired. we might have to go on a little break again.. ++
Thursday, May 20, 2004
# 2 ..
++ 2. I like television to much to give it up, even if i don't have cable.
..
i went to san francisco without a television. the guy who lived below me had an extra television and said i could use it until i left. i went to seattle and all we had was a television without cable. its almost annoying to think of how much snow and fuzz was on that television, yet we still watched it. i went to san francisco a second time and would go to best buy in order to watch television, before one of my roommates finally caved and bought a television. sometimes i leave studio and go home just so i can watch television. sometimes i get up out of bed just so i can go sloth out on the couch in front of the television. sometimes i stop cooking so i can go watch something on television. sometimes i stop mid sentance so i can listen to a funny line in a sitcom. sometimes i hang up on people because i'm watching a show. sometimes i make coffee so i can stay up later and watch television. sometimes i drive over the speed limit so i can make it back soon enough to see the beginning of a show. man, i'm hungry. ++
..
i went to san francisco without a television. the guy who lived below me had an extra television and said i could use it until i left. i went to seattle and all we had was a television without cable. its almost annoying to think of how much snow and fuzz was on that television, yet we still watched it. i went to san francisco a second time and would go to best buy in order to watch television, before one of my roommates finally caved and bought a television. sometimes i leave studio and go home just so i can watch television. sometimes i get up out of bed just so i can go sloth out on the couch in front of the television. sometimes i stop cooking so i can go watch something on television. sometimes i stop mid sentance so i can listen to a funny line in a sitcom. sometimes i hang up on people because i'm watching a show. sometimes i make coffee so i can stay up later and watch television. sometimes i drive over the speed limit so i can make it back soon enough to see the beginning of a show. man, i'm hungry. ++
Tuesday, May 18, 2004
# 1 ..
++ 1. I am easily distracted.
..
it is extremely unusual for me to start something and .. crap i'm still on this sentance .. than actually work through until its finished. when packing, i can get everything packed in day. thats not a problem. but the little tasks have to be broken down in to even smaller tasks and those into smaller tasks in order for me to be able to mark things off my checklist. actually, now that i think about it, i don't like to ue checklists. well sometimes i do. on one hand, using checklists are great if you can actually get it all done in a reasonable amount of time and check things off every few hours or so. they suck when it takes you a whole 3 months to check off a few things. oh and that reminds me, i hate those digital 'post it' notes people put on their desktop. i understand they are more tree saving efficient and blah blah blah, but post it notes are just so cool. even cooler now that they come in an infinite number of shapes, sizes, and colors. plus to have something there that you can actually write on or tear off or throw away is much more satisfying than the stupid computer versions. and speaking of computers, i'm not a big fan of people who are so for one type of computer and so against the other type of computer. for example (as if there are any others) apple computers and pc computers. yes, there are pros and cons to each. you know what, i don't even know why i'm talking about computer preferences. blah blah blah. ..drink.. ..blow nose.. its clear snot. thats good. ..just allergies then. not a cold. do you look at your snot after you blow? is that just a gross thing to bring up? its almost a taboo subject. kind of like wiping your ass. i don't want to know what you do with the toilet paper after you wipe your ass and i'm not going to tell you what i do with it. thats about how taboo of a subject it is. its one of those absolutely intimate moments in ones life. those 5 minutes (15-30 for some) you are on the throne, doing number 2 a favor. it would suck i think not be able to wipe your own ass. you see.. i'm easily distracted.. ++
..
it is extremely unusual for me to start something and .. crap i'm still on this sentance .. than actually work through until its finished. when packing, i can get everything packed in day. thats not a problem. but the little tasks have to be broken down in to even smaller tasks and those into smaller tasks in order for me to be able to mark things off my checklist. actually, now that i think about it, i don't like to ue checklists. well sometimes i do. on one hand, using checklists are great if you can actually get it all done in a reasonable amount of time and check things off every few hours or so. they suck when it takes you a whole 3 months to check off a few things. oh and that reminds me, i hate those digital 'post it' notes people put on their desktop. i understand they are more tree saving efficient and blah blah blah, but post it notes are just so cool. even cooler now that they come in an infinite number of shapes, sizes, and colors. plus to have something there that you can actually write on or tear off or throw away is much more satisfying than the stupid computer versions. and speaking of computers, i'm not a big fan of people who are so for one type of computer and so against the other type of computer. for example (as if there are any others) apple computers and pc computers. yes, there are pros and cons to each. you know what, i don't even know why i'm talking about computer preferences. blah blah blah. ..drink.. ..blow nose.. its clear snot. thats good. ..just allergies then. not a cold. do you look at your snot after you blow? is that just a gross thing to bring up? its almost a taboo subject. kind of like wiping your ass. i don't want to know what you do with the toilet paper after you wipe your ass and i'm not going to tell you what i do with it. thats about how taboo of a subject it is. its one of those absolutely intimate moments in ones life. those 5 minutes (15-30 for some) you are on the throne, doing number 2 a favor. it would suck i think not be able to wipe your own ass. you see.. i'm easily distracted.. ++
100 THINGS ABOUT ME.
++ Each post will be about 1 thing about me until you will eventually know 100 things about me. some you will already know. others you won't. others you will wish you didn't know. they will be in no particular order. i will post what it is and then give a little explanation to each. a little background. possibly a story. a reason or two why. its possible i won't even write anything related to the said 'thing about me'. i might just write about the weather if i deem it necessary. the first 50 or so are pretty easy to do, but i've struggled with the last 20 or so. actually, i started this list this past summer and i still haven't finished it yet. i think right now i'm on number 94. which gives me at least 94 more days to come up with the last 6..
..
oh yeah, i'll start the countdown (or should it be a countup?) tomorrow.. ++
..
oh yeah, i'll start the countdown (or should it be a countup?) tomorrow.. ++
Monday, May 17, 2004
Sunday, May 16, 2004
TWENTY-SOMETHINGS
++ 'The twenty-somethings'. an age where your existance is below teenagers and full-blown adults. old enough to vote. old enough to smoke. old enough to drink. not old enough to hold any kind of position. not old enough to hold any kind of responsibility. not old enough to make any sizable income. its the perfect age of nothingness. twenty-somethings hold no power in this society. its the perfect time to rob a bank. if you don't get caught, money money money money monnnnnney money. if you do get caught. you still have time to live a good life after you get out of federal poke me in the ass prison. assuming you can still walk. ..but poor because you suck at robbing banks. ++
Saturday, May 15, 2004
"THEY" TALK ABOUT ME.
Megan : you've been red flagged by the intramural refs. way to go
Jay.. : huh?
megan : i was talking to my friend who's a ref
jay.. : and..
megan :hes the guy who always initiates contact then falls down and complains that nobody calls anything
jay.. : ha!
megan :he said they've talked about you at the ref meetings
jay.. : i haven't complained at all
jay.. : matt is the one who complains
megan : haha, i know
jay.. : i don't ever say anything, because i know i'm falling
megan : you just tumble
jay.. : i know. and i know its not the other teams fault, so i don't say anything
jay.. : ha!
megan : way to go jay
jay.. : haha. they talk about me.
megan : yep, you're infamous
jay.. : its kind of like winning the lottery. except i don't get anything ++
Jay.. : huh?
megan : i was talking to my friend who's a ref
jay.. : and..
megan :hes the guy who always initiates contact then falls down and complains that nobody calls anything
jay.. : ha!
megan :he said they've talked about you at the ref meetings
jay.. : i haven't complained at all
jay.. : matt is the one who complains
megan : haha, i know
jay.. : i don't ever say anything, because i know i'm falling
megan : you just tumble
jay.. : i know. and i know its not the other teams fault, so i don't say anything
jay.. : ha!
megan : way to go jay
jay.. : haha. they talk about me.
megan : yep, you're infamous
jay.. : its kind of like winning the lottery. except i don't get anything ++
Friday, May 14, 2004
FIRED TRASH
++ So i tried to go to sleep last night and couldn't fall asleep, so instead i popped in a movie, "the last samurai", which by the way is a really good movie. (tom, if you are reading this you should watch it and then give it one of your lame-o reviews. i'd like to know what the movie guru has to say about it.) right, so this is off topic. so 4.00am rolls around and the movie is over and i'm thirsty. roll out of bed. stop movie. open door. walk. look to my right. wow, thats a bright light. i don't remember the street lights being so bright. gander. shuffle in the dark. ouch, shit. that hurts. window. look. oh, just a fire. not a big deal. must be the neighbors having a little nofire in the middle of our yard. go get the water i was going to get in the first place. fridge. no wait, i need a glass. now fridge. water? damn, can't see a thing. light. oh wow, now look at the light coming in, thats much brighter than 10 seconds ago. damn, my toe hurts. walk to window. avoid stupid table. yup, thats a big fire. and nope its not the neighbors. what would the neighbors be doing starting a fire at 4am anyway. oh wait, they are meatheads. walk briskly to my room. enough light from the fire to see the table now, thats for sure. find phone. camera? crap, where's my phone. leave room. walk down stairs. look out window. holy shit! why is the trash can on fire! wow. 2..3 feet worth of flame. yeah, i realyl should go and find my phone now. heart is beating faster. oh wait, that could because i'm walking up this flight of stairs. room. phone. phone. phone. there it is. don't run. its only a trash can. but faster. down the stairs. outside. that smells like trash. .. on fire. what is the fire department's phone number? no time. just dial 911. think i'll get in trouble? what would they ask me? oh, who cares.. 8..9..10 feet worth of flame! 2 feet away from the car. the other trashcan is starting to deform from the heat. telephone pole 2 feet away. it has a transformer on the top. this could get bad. ok, number punched in. just hit send. oh hey, its nick. what's nick doing here. hey. hi. i just called the fire department. oh ok, good, i was just about to dial. yeah i told them to come quickly. yeah, i didn't want to call. we should go wake up the neighbors and tell them to move their car. good call. wow, thats hot. theres anti-freeze flowing down the sidewalk. that can't be good. is that legal? i can hear the fire truck coming. hi, yeah, the trash can is on fire out here and is that your car next to it. huh? someone should move it i think. oh yeah, thats mine. yeah, i should move it. thanks for waking me up. theres the fire truck. wow, hose and everything. think we should move back? they haven't said anything to us, so i guess we'll be ok. wow, oh thats white light. don't look at it. thats electrical. burns your retinas. is john awake yet? nope. man, thats not good. hi. hey. hi. do you think there was a cigarette butt in there? beats me. i don't know. i don't smoke. ok. that was quick. there they go. weird! they didn't even ask anything else. do you think the cops will come? ha. there's a maxim magazine in there taht didn't burn. crap its 4.30. i gotta get to bed. so thats it? guess so. interesting. uh. ok. hey thanks for waking me up. no problem. ok. crap. how am i gonna sleep now. ha. if the cops aren't coming and thats the only question the firemen are going to ask us, lets light the other trash cans on fire tomorrow morning. ha. we could light on fire every night if thats all thats going to happen to us. yeah. smart. really? no! ha. interesting..
trash can in background is deformed from the heat..
you can still see the wheels..yeah, that plastic is not coming up.. ++
trash can in background is deformed from the heat..
you can still see the wheels..yeah, that plastic is not coming up.. ++
Wednesday, May 12, 2004
Tuesday, May 11, 2004
FROM A FRIEND IN WASHINGTON DC
++ He's poor. he's single. he's male. he lives in washington dc. eat it up ladies.
"So I am emailing you all to let you know that I am offically poor. I was looking up apartments today for a project and I started to look up for me as well and I was noticing that the LOW INCOME affordable housing units have a income of no more then $38,460 a year to live there. That is more than what I make net income. So in their words I qualify for affordable housing in DC, let me remind you what that is, that is where the janitors and people on welfare live and all. So basically I am poor. I ran an income calculator and what I make in DC is worth less than 24 thousand in Cincy, hahaha. I would be making a better income working at Abercrombie right now instead of working for BAE. How messed up is that one? I can't help but laugh at how pathetic my income is here. Got to love it, I think I made more in college than I do know.
-Joe ++
"So I am emailing you all to let you know that I am offically poor. I was looking up apartments today for a project and I started to look up for me as well and I was noticing that the LOW INCOME affordable housing units have a income of no more then $38,460 a year to live there. That is more than what I make net income. So in their words I qualify for affordable housing in DC, let me remind you what that is, that is where the janitors and people on welfare live and all. So basically I am poor. I ran an income calculator and what I make in DC is worth less than 24 thousand in Cincy, hahaha. I would be making a better income working at Abercrombie right now instead of working for BAE. How messed up is that one? I can't help but laugh at how pathetic my income is here. Got to love it, I think I made more in college than I do know.
-Joe ++
Monday, May 10, 2004
ALL-TIME PET PEEVES
++ These are my all-time pet peeves in no particular order.
01. people telling me what to do. yeah, uh huh. whatever.
02. people who don't use turn signals when they are clearly turning.
03. slow drives in fast lanes. move.
04. schedules.
05. crackly phones. maybe its just my phone.
06. people who play poker and don't know what they are doing and end up on the final table.
07. people who talk a lot of junk, but can't play to back it up.
08. people who talk a lot of junk. shut up and play or just do it.
09. people who don't try 100%. if you're half-assing it or tired, get off the field or don't come at all.
10. people without integrity. if you say you believe in something, back it up. don't talk junk.
11. people who think you are attacking them when you criticize something about their organization.
12. people who don't give others a chance. they talk junk without ever trying it. go try it first.
13. allergies.
14. ..
01. people telling me what to do. yeah, uh huh. whatever.
02. people who don't use turn signals when they are clearly turning.
03. slow drives in fast lanes. move.
04. schedules.
05. crackly phones. maybe its just my phone.
06. people who play poker and don't know what they are doing and end up on the final table.
07. people who talk a lot of junk, but can't play to back it up.
08. people who talk a lot of junk. shut up and play or just do it.
09. people who don't try 100%. if you're half-assing it or tired, get off the field or don't come at all.
10. people without integrity. if you say you believe in something, back it up. don't talk junk.
11. people who think you are attacking them when you criticize something about their organization.
12. people who don't give others a chance. they talk junk without ever trying it. go try it first.
13. allergies.
14. ..
Sunday, May 09, 2004
SOCCER CONVERSATIONS
++ All of my IM conversations in the past week have been about soccer. For example..
Jay (10:48:22 PM): how is mark?
jay (10:48:32 PM): you see him puking in the parking lot after the game?
Tom (10:48:38 PM): Dunno, have not seen him since the game
tom (10:48:47 PM): He pukes either before or after every game
jay (10:48:50 PM): really?
jay (10:48:54 PM): i didn't know that.
tom (10:48:56 PM): Its because he smokes up right before each game
jay (10:48:56 PM): how cool!
tom (10:49:06 PM): He is a serious pot head
jay (10:49:19 PM): there was a guy who played for xenia who would puke before every game
jay (10:49:28 PM): ritual
tom (10:49:31 PM): Usually mark pukes at half time
jay (10:49:31 PM): he was good too
jay (10:49:36 PM): ha. cool
tom (10:49:36 PM): and then plays a better second half
jay (10:49:39 PM): yeah
tom (10:49:46 PM): I always thought that pot stopped you from puking though
jay (10:49:52 PM): i don't think so
tom (10:49:54 PM): I was really suprised the first time I witnessed it
jay (10:50:03 PM): first time you saw him smoke?
jay (10:50:05 PM): or puke?
tom (10:50:10 PM): puke
tom (10:50:16 PM): I knew he was a big hippie
jay (10:50:29 PM): usually the pukers are good
jay (10:50:36 PM): makes 'em faster
jay (10:50:41 PM): less weight
jay (10:50:44 PM): some call it bolemia
jay (10:50:55 PM): we soccer players call it weight management
tom (10:51:12 PM): HAHAHAHAHA
..
Jay.. : We won 9-0 just in case you were wondering.
Megan : I don't believe it.
jay.. : i scored twice (you're really not going to believe it now) matt scored 2. suzie scored 2.
jay.. : cliff - 1. michelle - 1.
megan : so this is how good i am at studying - i came to the conclusion that you guys had to have played against yourselves which is why the score was 'apparently' 8 - zip. right. so structures rocks my world and i'm back to that now. later
jay.. : lol
jay.. : thats what you have been doing since i last talked to you two hours ago. trying to figure out why we won 8-0?
jay.. : lame-o.
megan : no no no....not the WHOLE time. just during brain farts in studying. call it a.d.d., call it a guilt trip. and has it really been 2 hours? i swear i'm not that useless
jay.. : uh huh. i've seen you play soccer. ++
Jay (10:48:22 PM): how is mark?
jay (10:48:32 PM): you see him puking in the parking lot after the game?
Tom (10:48:38 PM): Dunno, have not seen him since the game
tom (10:48:47 PM): He pukes either before or after every game
jay (10:48:50 PM): really?
jay (10:48:54 PM): i didn't know that.
tom (10:48:56 PM): Its because he smokes up right before each game
jay (10:48:56 PM): how cool!
tom (10:49:06 PM): He is a serious pot head
jay (10:49:19 PM): there was a guy who played for xenia who would puke before every game
jay (10:49:28 PM): ritual
tom (10:49:31 PM): Usually mark pukes at half time
jay (10:49:31 PM): he was good too
jay (10:49:36 PM): ha. cool
tom (10:49:36 PM): and then plays a better second half
jay (10:49:39 PM): yeah
tom (10:49:46 PM): I always thought that pot stopped you from puking though
jay (10:49:52 PM): i don't think so
tom (10:49:54 PM): I was really suprised the first time I witnessed it
jay (10:50:03 PM): first time you saw him smoke?
jay (10:50:05 PM): or puke?
tom (10:50:10 PM): puke
tom (10:50:16 PM): I knew he was a big hippie
jay (10:50:29 PM): usually the pukers are good
jay (10:50:36 PM): makes 'em faster
jay (10:50:41 PM): less weight
jay (10:50:44 PM): some call it bolemia
jay (10:50:55 PM): we soccer players call it weight management
tom (10:51:12 PM): HAHAHAHAHA
..
Jay.. : We won 9-0 just in case you were wondering.
Megan : I don't believe it.
jay.. : i scored twice (you're really not going to believe it now) matt scored 2. suzie scored 2.
jay.. : cliff - 1. michelle - 1.
megan : so this is how good i am at studying - i came to the conclusion that you guys had to have played against yourselves which is why the score was 'apparently' 8 - zip. right. so structures rocks my world and i'm back to that now. later
jay.. : lol
jay.. : thats what you have been doing since i last talked to you two hours ago. trying to figure out why we won 8-0?
jay.. : lame-o.
megan : no no no....not the WHOLE time. just during brain farts in studying. call it a.d.d., call it a guilt trip. and has it really been 2 hours? i swear i'm not that useless
jay.. : uh huh. i've seen you play soccer. ++
Thursday, May 06, 2004
I'VE DECIDED 6 PEOPLE READ THIS.
++ There are really no more than 6 people who read this on a semi-constant basis. constant being defined as ever .. or so.
1. me.
2. tom.
3. gary.
4. steve.
5. "Blazin' Kitty"
6. "Rene" from the Czech Republic.
++
1. me.
2. tom.
3. gary.
4. steve.
5. "Blazin' Kitty"
6. "Rene" from the Czech Republic.
++
Wednesday, May 05, 2004
A FRIEND IN C-BUS TOLD ME ABOUT THIS THE OTHER NIGHT
++ Apparantly its now made the oddly enough news on yahoo.
I thought it was hilarious. oddly enough he didn't really seem to mind or think it outrageously out of the ordinary. the article says columbus and gahana. he said reynoldsburg. i suppose its pretty much one in the same.
"town goes on a lion hunt"
++
I thought it was hilarious. oddly enough he didn't really seem to mind or think it outrageously out of the ordinary. the article says columbus and gahana. he said reynoldsburg. i suppose its pretty much one in the same.
"town goes on a lion hunt"
++
Tuesday, May 04, 2004
ENGINEER JOKE #2
++ Also from the same friend in c-bus. this joke is also easily replaceable with architect. (except that we actually do work.)
A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there, another customer walked in and said to the shopkeeper, "I'll have an AutoCAD monkey, please." The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a cage at the side of the shop and took out a monkey. He fitted a collar and leash, handed it to the customer, saying, "That'll be $5000." The customer paid and walked out with his monkey. Startled, the tourist went over to the shopkeeper and said, "That was a very expensive monkey. Most of them are only few hundred dollars. Why did that one cost so much?" The Shopkeeper answered, "Ah, that monkey can draw in AutoCAD - very fast, clear layouts, no mistakes, well worth the money."
The tourist looked at a monkey in another cage. "That one's even more expensive! $10,000! What does it do?" "Oh, that one's a Design monkey; it can design systems, layout projects, mark-up drawings, write specifications, some even calculations. All the really useful stuff," said the shopkeeper. The tourist looked around for a little longer and saw a third monkey in its own cage. The price tag around its neck read $50,000. He gasped to the shopkeeper, "That one costs more than all the others put together! What on earth does it do?" The shopkeeper replied, "Well, I haven't actually seen it do anything, but it says it's an Engineer." ++
A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there, another customer walked in and said to the shopkeeper, "I'll have an AutoCAD monkey, please." The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a cage at the side of the shop and took out a monkey. He fitted a collar and leash, handed it to the customer, saying, "That'll be $5000." The customer paid and walked out with his monkey. Startled, the tourist went over to the shopkeeper and said, "That was a very expensive monkey. Most of them are only few hundred dollars. Why did that one cost so much?" The Shopkeeper answered, "Ah, that monkey can draw in AutoCAD - very fast, clear layouts, no mistakes, well worth the money."
The tourist looked at a monkey in another cage. "That one's even more expensive! $10,000! What does it do?" "Oh, that one's a Design monkey; it can design systems, layout projects, mark-up drawings, write specifications, some even calculations. All the really useful stuff," said the shopkeeper. The tourist looked around for a little longer and saw a third monkey in its own cage. The price tag around its neck read $50,000. He gasped to the shopkeeper, "That one costs more than all the others put together! What on earth does it do?" The shopkeeper replied, "Well, I haven't actually seen it do anything, but it says it's an Engineer." ++
Monday, May 03, 2004
ENGINEER JOKE #1
++ From a friend in c-bus. its an engineer joke, however easily replaced with architect. (except that architects aren't as blunt or cruel. we would definately stretch out those 7 words to more like 20 or 30. and when we finished with what we said, you would have no idea what we meant.)
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!" The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him." "Hi George! Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?" The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."
The group was silent for a moment. The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight. "The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them." The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"++
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!" The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him." "Hi George! Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?" The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."
The group was silent for a moment. The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight. "The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them." The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"++
Saturday, May 01, 2004
I WON A TEXAS HOLD'EM TOURNAMENT
++ Of course though it was only my friends and there were only four of us, but we considered it a tournament. buy in was $10 and we played, 10 cent, 20 cent, 50 cent, 1 dollar. i think the lowest i went down was about to $4.00, but i would say for most of the time i was right around breaking even or down a dollar. blinds were 10/20, but no one was betting enough or losing enough, so we upped it to 20/40 and things got rolling. i knocked nick out first, then suckered aj in and then threw down a full house to take most of his money. matt stuck around for a long time but that was because he was playing conservative, which he always does, which isn't a bad thing, it did get him into the final two. there weren't many more hands after it got down to just the two of us. last hand i had was pocket aces. the only one of the night for me. beautiful. $30 richer. go me.
..
on another note..39 more days til graduation..++
..
on another note..39 more days til graduation..++
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