Sunday, October 23, 2005

THE WORLD IS SPINNING

++ THE WORLD IS SPINNING

so much has happenned in just the past couple of months, even more so in the past couple of weeks.
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do you ever get that sense that things are going to fast and you don't have enough time to process it all?
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you start to make sense of what's going on, then you have to go to sleep or you have to go to work or time just moves and all of a sudden it's time. time to do something. whatever. it's just time and there is no time to think about it anymore. the things that aren't happenning to you will somehow in some aspect influence you or have some sort of affect on you. it's overwhelming. make you feel small again. not insecure. just unstable. like going on one of those playground spinny things that everyone did when they were small and holding onto the end while your friends spin it around as fast as they possibly can. you hold on. at first you focus on just one thing and try to hold that focus for as long as possible until you have to turn your head. you whip your head around to the right and immediately try to refocus on that one object. a tree. a car. your friend's face. some in the distance. anything to prolong the inevitable unstableness you know will occur when you get off. your friends tire of running or pushing the hunk of metal. or you jump off, not being able to take any more. you lie in the grass. look up. the white cloud posted just to the left of the midday sun. it starts to turn arond clockwise. you close your eyes momentarily hoping for it to stop. open eyes. turning. long blink. open eyes. it's back where it should be, but starting to turn again. eyes closed. you feel your body turn to the right. except you're laying on the ground. wait then, the ground must be moving to the left. impossible. you stand. open your eyes. everything feels as though it's leaning to the right. focus. 30 seonds go by. everything starts to slow down. you can think about anything .. again .. now that the world has stopped spinning. your head is a little hazy. as if you've just been the witness of the spaceship exploding. did you just see that? did that really happen? are you serious? dumbstruck. but not dumbstruck, you know what just happened. you saw it with your own eyes. they instantaneously replayed it over and over and over and over. its real. are you serious? now what? what happens next? your mind blanks. deep breath. grass. summer heat. friends talking. spinny thing behind you. thirsty. queesy stomach.
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now what?
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