++ I ALMOST CRASHED yesterday in my car coming home from work. there was a ladder sprawled across a lane and a half of traffic on the freeway. i didn't see it until i was right in front of it. i swerved, ran over the end of the ladder, swerved to fix my swerve and then swerved to fix the swerve in which i tried to fix the initial swerve. i didn't crash. but i almost did.

i peeked into the women's bathroom today at work. traditionally its the women's bathroom, but you know if you gotta go, you gotta go. (one of the partners told me this. i swear.) well i didn't have to go, but i wanted to see what perks the women get while they are taking care of business. here they are: two windows with nice views downtown, an elevated throne so they can see out the two windows with nice views downtown. a bathtub with a clear shower curtain so they can see out the two windows with nice views of downtown. and no curtains on the windows, so they will always be able to see out the two windows with nice views downtown. on the flip side, everyone they can see, can see them too. the only thing the men get in their bathroom is a little cup which holds strike anywhere matches so when we let loose of number 2 and drown 'em, we can pay tribute to them by stirking the strike anywhere matches on the brick wall which the sink faces and then blow out the match and put it on the tray. (we don't even have to throw it away. apparantly someone else does that.) women get nice views, men get fire. ++