Wednesday, January 07, 2004
LIFTING WEIGHTS
++ SO I LIFTED WEIGHTS yesterday .. for the first time in 6 years .. with a friend. its not a competition i know. but just for the record i lifted less than him everytime and even did less reps. so if it were a competition, holy wow he would of kicked me down and then kicked me while i was laying there on the ground and most likely kicked me as i was trying to get up. we lifted back and shoulders. before we were even finished i was sore. afterwards when we ran a mile i was still sore. after i got home and took a shower i was even mroe sore. i'm pretty sure my muscles are gonna fall off today. so yeah, its been 6 years since i last lifted and even then when i was lifting we never did back and shoulders. i never even knew i had muscles back there. on the flip side i have popeye forearms from climbing, which counts for absolutely squat when you are lifting for back and shoulders. sore? yes. glad you went? ironically enough, yes. glad you ran that mile after the lifting session? stupidly, yes. gonna do it again? not for at least another 6 years. ++
Monday, January 05, 2004
HELLO GOD?
++ HELLO GOD. it's me again. i seem to be having a problem. you know what it is. we've talked quite a bit the past few nights. i know you work on your own schedule. i know answers usually don't come in the form of a letter. i know its as much about self-discovery and guidance as it is about anything else. i'm just sort of feeling a little lost here. any little help would work about now. because i just feel like all i'm doing is thinking and thinking and thinking and to be honest, it sure is filling up most of the room in my head and making it hard to do much else with clarity. i'm not trying to demand (that would be foolish of me anyway). i just need a little pick-me-up. a little sign. i need your wisdom. i hope i see it.
my grandmother gave me a calender over the new year.
it says, "Footprints. one night a man had a dream. he dreamed he was walking along a beach with the Lord. across the sky flashed scenes from his life. for each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand; one belonged to him, and the other the Lord. when the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. he noticed many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. he also noticed that it happenned at the very lowest and saddest times in his life. this really bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it. "Lord, you said that once i decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. but i have noticed during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. i don't understand why when i needed you most you would leave me." the Lord replied, "my precious, precious child, i love you and never leave you. during your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."
how does she always know..
as always. jay.
Hello God. back again. 8 hours later, but you know that. anyway, thank you. i think i see it a little more clearly now. the haze is not as thick. sometimes sleep does that. or maybe its time. or i don't know. maybe it's time+sleep+different state of mind? hmm.. anyway, thank you.
as always. jay.
even 8 hours later..
HE must know.
from a friend in england:
"If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.
Happy moments, praise God.
Difficult moments, seek God.
Quiet moments, worship God.
Painful moments, trust God.
Every moment, thank God." ++
my grandmother gave me a calender over the new year.
it says, "Footprints. one night a man had a dream. he dreamed he was walking along a beach with the Lord. across the sky flashed scenes from his life. for each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand; one belonged to him, and the other the Lord. when the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. he noticed many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. he also noticed that it happenned at the very lowest and saddest times in his life. this really bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it. "Lord, you said that once i decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. but i have noticed during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. i don't understand why when i needed you most you would leave me." the Lord replied, "my precious, precious child, i love you and never leave you. during your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."
how does she always know..
as always. jay.
Hello God. back again. 8 hours later, but you know that. anyway, thank you. i think i see it a little more clearly now. the haze is not as thick. sometimes sleep does that. or maybe its time. or i don't know. maybe it's time+sleep+different state of mind? hmm.. anyway, thank you.
as always. jay.
even 8 hours later..
HE must know.
from a friend in england:
"If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.
Happy moments, praise God.
Difficult moments, seek God.
Quiet moments, worship God.
Painful moments, trust God.
Every moment, thank God." ++
Sunday, January 04, 2004
FIRST DAY OF WINTER QUARTER
++ FIRST DAY OF winter quarter today. whoopeedoo. what did i accomplish over break as far as thesis goes? holy crap. nothing. absolutely nothing. will this come back to bite me in the arse. yeah, probably.
on another note, what is body chemistry anyway? i know its how compatible two people are with each other physically, but what about it. such as is it necessary for a relationship? i would assume yes, but how important is it? very? not very? would you say your parents have good body chemistry? does that gross you out to even think about that. probably. is body chemistry more important than how you feel about someone? is there some sort of connection there? hmm..
oh yeah and it snowed today! yay! (but it was 65 degrees two days ago. boo!) ++
on another note, what is body chemistry anyway? i know its how compatible two people are with each other physically, but what about it. such as is it necessary for a relationship? i would assume yes, but how important is it? very? not very? would you say your parents have good body chemistry? does that gross you out to even think about that. probably. is body chemistry more important than how you feel about someone? is there some sort of connection there? hmm..
oh yeah and it snowed today! yay! (but it was 65 degrees two days ago. boo!) ++
Saturday, January 03, 2004
2003 REHASHED.
++ 2003 REHASHED .. in a nutshell.
(things i remember .. whether important or not .. in no particular order.)
-got stuff stolen from me..twice. in seattle a laptop, digital camera, digital camcorder, some cases, memory card, and video. most disappointing was losing pictures which can't be replaced. then in cincinnati the cd player in the car was stolen. but then again thats happenned before and i was getting kind of sick of the one i had anyway, so i was kind of happy to see it gone. oh and the car window was busted out which was a pain in the butt to get fixed. actually this whole experience has been a big pain in rear, because you have to push all this paperwork around and then go through the trouble of talking to people and then replacing everything.
- seattle isn't all rain. there is a good 5-6 of the other months when it is actually all sunshine. and its beautiful there because every street you turn down you can see water at the end of the street. funny how that works.
-learned to go sea kayaking or flat water kayaking and its an abosloute blast. rowed 10 miles in a day, which doesn't seem like far especially when you can huck yourself in a car and travel to the same places in about 15 minutes, but holy crap that was far! and i didn't dunk once. brian did though and was wet for the entire day.
-took yet another studio with mark and was his partner (not life) again. and again i didn't kill him. and we actually produced a good project which was coherent (to me). and now for thesis our topics are similar and we have the same first chair. i can't get away from him even if i try. maybe its a sign. .. a sign that i should shoot him. and yet we're still friends and i even sometimes like him (not for life).
-went hiking on mount rainier in shorts and short sleeves and there was snow at the parking lot and snow up at panorama point where we turned around and we weren't cold the entire time. it was actually completely pleasant and beautiful. jeff, the arian with roots in ireland or scotland or someplace like that whose only protection from the sun is his splotchy freckles, decided not to wear sunscreen because, "i'll be ok." he missed work the next two days because he was redder than a cooked lobster.
-bought an expensive bike that i couldn't afford and had no way to bring it back from seattle. another smart move on my part, so then i bought a car rack which i definately couldn't afford so i lug home the metal, rubber, and grease which i had paid gobs of money for. i'm smart. i really am.
-drove to vail with heather, cornhole, golba, and suzie in two cars continuously. there was one rock between cincinnati and vail. only one rock. and i hit it. and we were 1.25 miles away from the last exit. and so the back right tire went flat. told you i'm smart. i really am. this was heather's christmas present to me. not the flat tire, but the trip to vail. and what a splendid trip it was. we all stayed in this condo which we will never be able to afford and skied for two days at the glorious ski resort of vail. suzie learned to snowboard. brad was the only one on skis. cornhole is actually better on a snowboard than he is on his own two feet walking. heather is better then she thinks she is and she skied deep powder for her first time. and i saw myself snowboard for the first time and i'm not very good, but i still remembered the resort and where to go. it was magnificent. no one got tickets driving both ways. i saw drew. it was an experience not to forget.
-on the trip back home from seattle, heather and i went the super duper long way home. south to portland, oregon to meet barb (my surrogate west coast portland mom) for dinner. a few hours at a rest stop somewhere in california and i fell asleep with the car door open and probably no less than 30 mosquitos filled the confines of the car. san francisco to meet no one because everyone had already left! so we played 'native' and did all the things we did just like it was another saturday afternoon in SF. a few cds at amoeba. lunch at crepe vine. indeed! san diego to visit aj and meet his gay ballet male dancer roommate whose connections landed us on a schooner for the entire day drinking beer, smoozing with rich folk, and basking in the setting afternoon sun. a bonfire on the beach with homemake sangria and we couldn't of asked for anything else from san diego. a perfect day. joshua tree national forest for a few days of unrequited rock climbing. we camped next to a huge rock, saw the moon rise faster than i've ever seen it rise, marvelled at the odd joshua trees, met a construction worker who was working there and staying in the same campground as us and went over to his campsite for some food and to talk. it was odd, but great conversation with some guy who i will most likely never meet again and if i do i won't recognize him. phoenix to visit cornhole. talieson west where i found out frank lloyd wright has invented air, water, the earth we stand on, and every major significant piece of architecture in the world. saw paulo soleri's Arcosanti which despite what they say is a cult in commune. here i found out that whatever flw didn't invent, paolo soleri did invent. mill street in tempe where we saw john (a UC grad who lived on my floor freshman year). ziggy's. from there cornhole packed up and left with us to antelope canyon where jess james guided us on a tour. incredible. not jess james, but the canyon. cornhole left us for aj and heather and i continued to the cliff dwellings at mesa verde. i can't believe people carved all that rock out and then built places to live there and then actually lived there! great sand dunes in colorado. arrived at night in pitch black, sleet, 25mph wind gusts, and 35 degrees. camped outside in a tent. woke up at 5am. first people to hike up the sand dunes. saw the sun rise while we were going up. sledded back down them. heather felt sick so we left for the garden of the gods in colorado springs. we did some more rock climbing there and i led an easy, but unforgettable 2 pitch trad lead up a run-out arete from which we used double ropes to rappel down from. had an audience. they clapped for me. weird. dinner in denver with drew and 20 hours driving down the now broken in and well-traveled i-70 back home. 5500 miles and no tickets. go jay.
-sailing on dave's sail boat every tuesday for duck dodge in union bay.
-helping mandi and joey find an apartment by going to check them all out. (they found one and its really nice and they like it!)
-living with 5 other people. kathleen and kathrin (who are from berlin, germany) who i had never met before. and john and adam who were the two people i got along with the least at the end of 2nd year. and nick who i didn't really know too well.
-jeff (my brother) turned 21 this year.
-took out a big honkin' loan. (that will be fun to repay. ha.)
-went to walt disney world again for the 4th time with a bunch of friends. we took a bus which took all of 15 hours to get there and back. i fell asleep on the bus before we even left wdw and woke up once to eat and then didn't wake up again til we got back. best nap ever.
-saw the northern lights for the first time in my life and they were mesmerizing.
-lobster feadst. 3 rules. 1. whatever you drink must come in the form of a bottle. 2. no eating utensils. only hands. 3. you muust get messy.
-saw manchester united play glascow celtics. man, they're good. "man u. sucks" was the best poster i saw.
-ride the ducks. right into the water. oh sweet ducks. ++
(things i remember .. whether important or not .. in no particular order.)
-got stuff stolen from me..twice. in seattle a laptop, digital camera, digital camcorder, some cases, memory card, and video. most disappointing was losing pictures which can't be replaced. then in cincinnati the cd player in the car was stolen. but then again thats happenned before and i was getting kind of sick of the one i had anyway, so i was kind of happy to see it gone. oh and the car window was busted out which was a pain in the butt to get fixed. actually this whole experience has been a big pain in rear, because you have to push all this paperwork around and then go through the trouble of talking to people and then replacing everything.
- seattle isn't all rain. there is a good 5-6 of the other months when it is actually all sunshine. and its beautiful there because every street you turn down you can see water at the end of the street. funny how that works.
-learned to go sea kayaking or flat water kayaking and its an abosloute blast. rowed 10 miles in a day, which doesn't seem like far especially when you can huck yourself in a car and travel to the same places in about 15 minutes, but holy crap that was far! and i didn't dunk once. brian did though and was wet for the entire day.
-took yet another studio with mark and was his partner (not life) again. and again i didn't kill him. and we actually produced a good project which was coherent (to me). and now for thesis our topics are similar and we have the same first chair. i can't get away from him even if i try. maybe its a sign. .. a sign that i should shoot him. and yet we're still friends and i even sometimes like him (not for life).
-went hiking on mount rainier in shorts and short sleeves and there was snow at the parking lot and snow up at panorama point where we turned around and we weren't cold the entire time. it was actually completely pleasant and beautiful. jeff, the arian with roots in ireland or scotland or someplace like that whose only protection from the sun is his splotchy freckles, decided not to wear sunscreen because, "i'll be ok." he missed work the next two days because he was redder than a cooked lobster.
-bought an expensive bike that i couldn't afford and had no way to bring it back from seattle. another smart move on my part, so then i bought a car rack which i definately couldn't afford so i lug home the metal, rubber, and grease which i had paid gobs of money for. i'm smart. i really am.
-drove to vail with heather, cornhole, golba, and suzie in two cars continuously. there was one rock between cincinnati and vail. only one rock. and i hit it. and we were 1.25 miles away from the last exit. and so the back right tire went flat. told you i'm smart. i really am. this was heather's christmas present to me. not the flat tire, but the trip to vail. and what a splendid trip it was. we all stayed in this condo which we will never be able to afford and skied for two days at the glorious ski resort of vail. suzie learned to snowboard. brad was the only one on skis. cornhole is actually better on a snowboard than he is on his own two feet walking. heather is better then she thinks she is and she skied deep powder for her first time. and i saw myself snowboard for the first time and i'm not very good, but i still remembered the resort and where to go. it was magnificent. no one got tickets driving both ways. i saw drew. it was an experience not to forget.
-on the trip back home from seattle, heather and i went the super duper long way home. south to portland, oregon to meet barb (my surrogate west coast portland mom) for dinner. a few hours at a rest stop somewhere in california and i fell asleep with the car door open and probably no less than 30 mosquitos filled the confines of the car. san francisco to meet no one because everyone had already left! so we played 'native' and did all the things we did just like it was another saturday afternoon in SF. a few cds at amoeba. lunch at crepe vine. indeed! san diego to visit aj and meet his gay ballet male dancer roommate whose connections landed us on a schooner for the entire day drinking beer, smoozing with rich folk, and basking in the setting afternoon sun. a bonfire on the beach with homemake sangria and we couldn't of asked for anything else from san diego. a perfect day. joshua tree national forest for a few days of unrequited rock climbing. we camped next to a huge rock, saw the moon rise faster than i've ever seen it rise, marvelled at the odd joshua trees, met a construction worker who was working there and staying in the same campground as us and went over to his campsite for some food and to talk. it was odd, but great conversation with some guy who i will most likely never meet again and if i do i won't recognize him. phoenix to visit cornhole. talieson west where i found out frank lloyd wright has invented air, water, the earth we stand on, and every major significant piece of architecture in the world. saw paulo soleri's Arcosanti which despite what they say is a cult in commune. here i found out that whatever flw didn't invent, paolo soleri did invent. mill street in tempe where we saw john (a UC grad who lived on my floor freshman year). ziggy's. from there cornhole packed up and left with us to antelope canyon where jess james guided us on a tour. incredible. not jess james, but the canyon. cornhole left us for aj and heather and i continued to the cliff dwellings at mesa verde. i can't believe people carved all that rock out and then built places to live there and then actually lived there! great sand dunes in colorado. arrived at night in pitch black, sleet, 25mph wind gusts, and 35 degrees. camped outside in a tent. woke up at 5am. first people to hike up the sand dunes. saw the sun rise while we were going up. sledded back down them. heather felt sick so we left for the garden of the gods in colorado springs. we did some more rock climbing there and i led an easy, but unforgettable 2 pitch trad lead up a run-out arete from which we used double ropes to rappel down from. had an audience. they clapped for me. weird. dinner in denver with drew and 20 hours driving down the now broken in and well-traveled i-70 back home. 5500 miles and no tickets. go jay.
-sailing on dave's sail boat every tuesday for duck dodge in union bay.
-helping mandi and joey find an apartment by going to check them all out. (they found one and its really nice and they like it!)
-living with 5 other people. kathleen and kathrin (who are from berlin, germany) who i had never met before. and john and adam who were the two people i got along with the least at the end of 2nd year. and nick who i didn't really know too well.
-jeff (my brother) turned 21 this year.
-took out a big honkin' loan. (that will be fun to repay. ha.)
-went to walt disney world again for the 4th time with a bunch of friends. we took a bus which took all of 15 hours to get there and back. i fell asleep on the bus before we even left wdw and woke up once to eat and then didn't wake up again til we got back. best nap ever.
-saw the northern lights for the first time in my life and they were mesmerizing.
-lobster feadst. 3 rules. 1. whatever you drink must come in the form of a bottle. 2. no eating utensils. only hands. 3. you muust get messy.
-saw manchester united play glascow celtics. man, they're good. "man u. sucks" was the best poster i saw.
-ride the ducks. right into the water. oh sweet ducks. ++
Friday, January 02, 2004
WORTH $20
++ WORTH $20
friend #1: i told him i would give him $20 to go make out with you.
friend #2: $20. thats all i'm worth?
friend #1: yeah. $20. thats a lot of money for me. ++
friend #1: i told him i would give him $20 to go make out with you.
friend #2: $20. thats all i'm worth?
friend #1: yeah. $20. thats a lot of money for me. ++
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