++ "best of IM AWAY MESSAGES."
. "so i see a fruit fly in my room, only ONE mind you, and i kill it, but then a few hours later, there is ONE more fruit fly in my room, i never see two at the same time... now i present this question to you: is there only one fruit fly, and every time i kill it, it's soul gets reincarnated into the same body via some insanely sadistic joke by the devil, to ultimately drive me mad? or are there like 5000 fruit flies in my room, all hiding in my closet or something, then one comes out to fly around my head, and when i kill it, one more comes out to do the same, also via a horribly cruel joke by a genetically enhanced race of superintelligent mind controlling fruit flies driven by the one need to break a human's will and see some poor shmuck cry so they can laugh hysterically and give each other high fives or high mandibles and then take over the world?"
. "My studio project: inchoate \in-KOH-it\, adjective: 1. In an initial or early stage; just begun.2. Imperfectly formed or formulated. "
. "Hi. I am Tom. Soon I will be an engineer. That is where the fun begins. I will attend a graduate school. They will award me a Phd. I will then begin producing robots smaller than are visible to the naked eye. These robots will fight infections, perform the function of failed organs, monitor DNA, recycle all expended products, and make your life happier, healthier and easier. That is all I wish to tell you of for now. Please have a pleasent couple of decades, we will be seeing more of one another then."
. "zzzzz...buzzzzzz@7am....slap...zzzzz....buzzzzzzz@7.09am...slap...zzzzz... buzzzzzz@7.18am...slam, crash, "owwww!"...zzzzz....zzzzzz...zzzzzzzzzz...zzzzzzz...."shit. damnit."@11.54am.....(door slamming)@11.56am."
. "I am Dr. Random. I like my dumb friends the best"
. "I would jump from the fucked boat, but there are hundreds of sharks circling the boat, the life preservers are made of concrete, and intead of water the ship floats on fire, yet there are still sharks. In short, I'm stuck on the fucked boat, which has no motor, so it floats atop the waves of fire hopelessly. Soon the water (fire) will burn a hole in the hull, and we will begin sinking. Deeper and deeper we will go, but there will be no bottom, just an endless abyss, and it will be hotter. The deeper we go, the hotter it will be and the more sharks there will be."
. "If for every rule there is an exception, then we have established that there is an exception to every rule. However, if we accept this as a rule, then we must concede that there may not be an exception after all, since the rule states that there is always the possibility of exception, and if we follow it to its logical end we must agree that there can be an exception to the rule that for every rule there is an exception. This is a perfect example of why existence is futile."
. "I know some people update their profiles all the time and I was thinking i should do that. but then i thought wow, i have more important things to do. then i thought gee, i really want to avoid them."
. "goldfish have a memory span of 3 seconds. Sometimes I think I rival them."
. "Did you know that no one knows why we yawn? That old wive's tale about the oxygen to the brain? Untrue. And why it's contagious? No reason either. I want to know why if it's so damn unuseful I still end up doing it all the time. Precious moments of concentration wasted. It's all a bunch of hooey."
. "Sleep is for pussies."
. "I wouldn't call it procrastination, I'd call it realizing how fuct i am and thinking that it doesn't matter how hard i work on it until i get scared at the last second and then working my ass off. yeah, that's it."
. "i lied. failing sucks."
. "have you ever been in class and had little blue bears come to dance with you and go to a field and play in the sunshine with butterflies only to have someone wake you up saying "get up! you are drooling on everything!". yeah, me neither."
. "Theory of Stupidity. Knowledge = Power ... Time = Money ... Work = Power * Time ... Substitute and solve for Money: ... Money = Work / Knowledge ... Regardless of work, the Limit of Money is Infinity as Knowledge approaches 0."
. "I missed the boat once when I was young and stupid, but now I am able to miss the boat repeatedly with great skill and accuracy."
. "A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes that he is lost. He reduces altitude and spots a man below on the ground. "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?" the balloonists shouts.
The man below replies, " You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field." "You must be a engineer, " says the balloonist. "I am," replies the man on the ground, "but how did you know?" "Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but of no use whatsoever." The man reflects for a moment, then says, "You must be a architect."
"I am," replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?" "Well, " says the man, " you don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're in the same situation you were in before we met, but now it's my fault."
. "call me cleopatra, cause i'm the queen of denial."
. "but! but! need brain for smart making!"
. ""idiot! this wouldn't happen if you had killed yourself after prom like i told you to!"~ andy richter controls the universe"


have something better? let me know... ++