SOCCER AS A SECOND LANGUAGE

++ SPEAKING SOCCER AS a second language be a whole other dialect of english. for one, everyone starts playing soccer and we feel the need to say everything twice. it's never just a "good job" or a "nice pass". its more like "good job, good job" or "nice pass, nice pass". second, we don't use first names when speaking soccer. last names only. and if you can't think of their last name, either don't talk at all or call them by their nickname such as, "hey foley" or equally acceptable is "hey cripple" or "hey asshole." another example would be, "hey rouse" or equally acceptable is "hey poonuts." we also like to think we are unique and above the american english language, so we say sentances like, "don't forget to take your boots out of your kit bag and wear the black kit before the match, that way when we are playing futbol on the pitch, we'll all know you are on our team."
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playing the ball weakside - either kick the ball to the opposite field or pass it around so it gets there.
what you see - look up while you have the ball so you can pass it to the open man or dribble.
play goalside - stand between the offensive player and the goal.
pick up a man - get back on defense and mark a man.
mark a man - shadow a player and don't let them get the ball.
drop the ball - pass the ball behind you. someone on your team is there.
man on - someone on the other team is behind you, so be careful with the ball.
square left or square right - pass the ball 90 degrees to your right or left. someone on your team is there.
shoot - shoot the ball.
have a ball - shoot the ball.
through ball - pass the ball between the defenders into the open space behind them.
offside - a foul. there are not two defenders in front of you before your team passed the ball to you.

and all this means nothing unless you are winning. and even then i guess it really doesn't matter, now that i think about it. hm. soccer players speak meaningless jibberish. interesting.. ++